[DeadVicious]

About back in January, my ex boyfriend that lived 2 hours away dumped me because of the distance and the drive to where I lived. We we're together for 3 months, we were so amazing for each other, we had the best of times, and it ended on good terms. I don't hate him and I have nothing against him and respect his wishes. Not too long ago, this past Memorial day weekend, I went to a con and he was also attending it. We made plans to hit each other up and hang out. Not just alone, but with friends too. I missed him so much..it had been 4 months since I saw him and since we really last talked in person.

We we're partying and hanging out the 4 days of the con, and we we're drunk/buzzing, but both remember everything. We kissed, we hugged, we talked about things between us and of our relationship and we also got intimate and things just happened. He's the best friend that I have ever had and have known each other since May of last year. We met at the same convention center and I fell so hard instantly and he did too. I told him I still wanted to be with him, and that I wasn't interested in anyone who even lived in the same town as me. I feel so good when I'm with him, he makes me happy, even though we aren't together anymore.

We are never awkward around each other and we're both crazy for each other. He told me he's still attracted to me, likes me, misses me, and wishes things could be different and that I lived closer. I was happy to hear that from him, but that's not all. As much as he said all those things, he also told me that he loves being single too, and he said he wasn't interested in anyone else at all and doesn't just want to have sex with girls and isn't looking for anyone better than me either. He just doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't want to have to worry about so much, and being so committed. He's 22 and I'm 20. I know we're still young, and have a lot ahead of ourselves in our lives and in the future, but I feel so alone without him,

I feel like he belongs in my life and as much as it hurts to know he can't commit, I still want him no matter what. He knows this, and I'm sure it hurts him too. I'm fine being friends, but I always think about him. He's just so great to me, I am so happy to have him in my life even if it's not through a romantic relationship.

Before we started dating I had not been with anyone for 2 in a half years. I was used to being single too and I did love it. The only thing I'm trying to do is love being single too and get back on my feet to where I used to be, but also still have a place for him in my heart and keep him as a friend and keep everything cool. We never had any arguments, we never had a bad time around each other, we got intimate fast, but it felt so right. Maybe I am in love? Him and I aren't the type to really say that so much like other couples do, it's another thing I like about us, but is this what love is even if I don't have to say those 3 words all the time?

They say that once a girl/guy has broken up with you, that that's the end of it. I don't believe that, and all I can hope for is to try and get myself together, and hopefully move closer to him. I plan and have been planning on moving before we met to a city that's about an hour away for school and for more better job opportunities, but I wonder if that will make much of a difference.

I cried a little during the con alone in my room, and before posting this. I remember asking him if things would go back to us not talking as much since we live far away from each other. I believe that to be so. We haven't made contact since Monday, and what sucks is that I know he'd never come all the way down to where I live to hang out. I don't know whether to feel used or what. If he didn't care, then why did all of that happen? I feel so alone, and I try to suck it up and not think so much about it, but anytime of day, he comes back into my thoughts. I keep getting this empty feeling inside. I don't know what to do about the way I feel. I hate being so far away from him. I never tried this hard for a guy before. It feels good, but also hurts very much.

[nomad73]

I'm sorry this is going on. It is confusing, and this is one of those situations where it never seems to get easier to understand, no matter how many times you might experience something like this. I guess the important thing is to know that you'll never really know his motivations if he doesn't tell you, and he says he's not ready for commitment, and certainly not a long distance one. Men tend to say what they mean in these situations, so don't drive yourself nuts trying to read into the situation. He likes being with you, and you like being with him, but he's not ready to work on it if it is going to require a lot of his time and energy - he has other stuff he's focused on. I totally understand your wanting to put it all out there and put everything into it. I'm there myself right now. Time really does heal wounds (but it never really makes the memory of them go away)... I think it sounds like you've got your head on straight about this situation. This situation might be easier for you to manage over time, but you have to make sure you don't let a good opportunity with someone who is on the same page as you pass you by while you wait for him to figure out what he wants.

[DeadVicious]

It's very difficult for me to decide if I should let go completely or not.
I want to ask him if I should just move on..but that would be a dumb idea, because only I can determine if I should or not. I told him I'd wait for him, but I don't know if the waiting will go on for years or more. I'm scared to let him go, I entirely don't want to. I am confused, and I'm emotional on a daily basis after that convention I went to with him there.

I always feel like crying, and I hate it so much. I appreciate what you're telling me. I really dislike that after the con, we went right back to not really talking as much as if nothing happened, he didn't ignore me at all throughout that convention.

Now that I am 2 hours away from him and he's back home and so am I, we hardly ever talk...I don't even know what to say to him half the time because I feel this vibe as if he doesn't even want to really talk, even through texting. I feel a bit intimidated, as if I can't do/say anything without something bad happening. I worry so much and I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder, and I never realized this until after our break up.

Welcome to the Community, DeadVicious. You are grieving.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

[missmisty]

He cares but not enough to be in a one on one relationship with you that is going to be long term. But he also sounds like someone who is not going to be that way with anyone, so I don't think it is you he doesn't like. He does not sound mature enough to have a stable, ongoing relationship with anyone. I think he needs to grow up some before he is what you really need.

Originally Posted by DeadVicious

About back in January, my ex boyfriend that lived 2 hours away dumped me because of the distance and the drive to where I lived. We we're together for 3 months, we were so amazing for each other, we had the best of times, and it ended on good terms. I don't hate him and I have nothing against him and respect his wishes. Not too long ago, this past Memorial day weekend, I went to a con and he was also attending it. We made plans to hit each other up and hang out. Not just alone, but with friends too. I missed him so much..it had been 4 months since I saw him and since we really last talked in person.

We we're partying and hanging out the 4 days of the con, and we we're drunk/buzzing, but both remember everything. We kissed, we hugged, we talked about things between us and of our relationship and we also got intimate and things just happened. He's the best friend that I have ever had and have known each other since May of last year. We met at the same convention center and I fell so hard instantly and he did too. I told him I still wanted to be with him, and that I wasn't interested in anyone who even lived in the same town as me. I feel so good when I'm with him, he makes me happy, even though we aren't together anymore.

We are never awkward around each other and we're both crazy for each other. He told me he's still attracted to me, likes me, misses me, and wishes things could be different and that I lived closer. I was happy to hear that from him, but that's not all. As much as he said all those things, he also told me that he loves being single too, and he said he wasn't interested in anyone else at all and doesn't just want to have sex with girls and isn't looking for anyone better than me either. He just doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't want to have to worry about so much, and being so committed. He's 22 and I'm 20. I know we're still young, and have a lot ahead of ourselves in our lives and in the future, but I feel so alone without him,

I feel like he belongs in my life and as much as it hurts to know he can't commit, I still want him no matter what. He knows this, and I'm sure it hurts him too. I'm fine being friends, but I always think about him. He's just so great to me, I am so happy to have him in my life even if it's not through a romantic relationship.

Before we started dating I had not been with anyone for 2 in a half years. I was used to being single too and I did love it. The only thing I'm trying to do is love being single too and get back on my feet to where I used to be, but also still have a place for him in my heart and keep him as a friend and keep everything cool. We never had any arguments, we never had a bad time around each other, we got intimate fast, but it felt so right. Maybe I am in love? Him and I aren't the type to really say that so much like other couples do, it's another thing I like about us, but is this what love is even if I don't have to say those 3 words all the time?

They say that once a girl/guy has broken up with you, that that's the end of it. I don't believe that, and all I can hope for is to try and get myself together, and hopefully move closer to him. I plan and have been planning on moving before we met to a city that's about an hour away for school and for more better job opportunities, but I wonder if that will make much of a difference.

I cried a little during the con alone in my room, and before posting this. I remember asking him if things would go back to us not talking as much since we live far away from each other. I believe that to be so. We haven't made contact since Monday, and what sucks is that I know he'd never come all the way down to where I live to hang out. I don't know whether to feel used or what. If he didn't care, then why did all of that happen? I feel so alone, and I try to suck it up and not think so much about it, but anytime of day, he comes back into my thoughts. I keep getting this empty feeling inside. I don't know what to do about the way I feel. I hate being so far away from him. I never tried this hard for a guy before. It feels good, but also hurts very much.

[Direction]

I have to agee that he has told you were he is at...So yes it would be a good thing to move on.