[FlayedHeart]

I love this woman, regardless of a somewhat substantial age difference (16yrs).
I feel rejected by her often, to the point where I don't really believe when she
Starts acting interested in sex... I've been been led to be arroused by her so many times and it hurts.
I end up feeling rejected if she suddenly, after getting her pleasure turns away or loses
interest. I realize that so often in her past, men simply used her for their own ends.. and I
try so hard to not feel like this is personal. She repeatedly assures me it isn't, that she does
Want me.. but I have a low self esteem from years of being hurt by others.. I'm something
That no one ever wanted. Feeling desired would help with this.. I try every day to show her
That it isn't only her body that I want, I want her heart, her smile, her laugh, I want to
Share ideas with her, I fully intend to stand by her side through whatever road she must
walk, if she'll have me. She still fears being used, even by me, even though she knows otherwise.
We're going through therapy, both of us separately, and as a couple soon.
She wants to get a job, but fears that if a man makes a pass at her... she'll just do what he
Wants in order to avoid confrontation and him forcing himself on her.

In short.. I'm confused, don't understand the rules, she tells me she may never get better.
She keeps questioning my love for her, I keep thinking how unfair it is that I am paying
For the sins of other men. I don't try to pressure her, but I hate facing the wall and crying
Myself to sleep most every night.

[missbelle]

So this is a healthy relationship? No its not. What about you...what do you want. Sometimes we cannot fix things nor should we. It is up to her to fix herself and for you to have enough self respect to realize you just might need to walk away!

Might want to find a therapist to help you with your feelings.You are special and need to be treated special!!!!!

Hugs;
Dee

[RomanSunburn]

Have you told her what you're feeling and going through? There is no reason for you to suffer in silence. Perhaps you could try writing it all out and then give it to her to read. Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing to you. But ignorance isn't an excuse. I think if you talk to her, make her know what you are going through, and then watch to see if she starts trying to make changes about her behavior. I don't think you should stay in a relationship with this woman unless she wants and starts trying to make changes. I do believe a calm, rational conversation about what you are feeling will help start the process of change for the better.

Have you talked with your therapist about this? What did he/she say? When are you starting couples therapy?

Remember to not lose sight of yourself in all of this. Remember to keep working on your self esteem and self confidence. You both have to work on yourselves and make changes if you want this relationship to last. You are a good person worthy of love and happiness.

Take care of yourself

[arcangel]

I agree with the first response but I've read your other thread so I'll be blunt. You are in an unhealthy relationship and so is your partner. Your partner seems to seek unhealthy relationships. Unless you also like unhealthy relationships I think you should walk away from this one. Soon.

[Direction]

I read your other thread too...you seem to have your own issues and your girlfriend is just pushing all the right buttons to create an atmosphere that is not healthy for you to be in. What you describe in her behavior will not significantly change with out extreme amount of work on her part and a significant amount of time passing. Work that really in my opinion can't be done while in a relationship.