[Likeable-me]

I have a friend I met online, who lives 3000 miles away and suffers greatly with Bipolar. I found out after 3 years of talking via phone, email and texting..he not only had addictions but this as well. I have done extensive education on the illnesses he has and accept them plus I have very deep feelings for him.
But I am now at the point where I am very frustrated and sad at the lack I can do for him from the distance. He will not share things like a phone number, other than his, that I could call if he is in a troubled state. It is so hard to care for someone that wants your support but keeps you at bay..per-say. We have been through alot in 4 years and like I said I care deeply for him, but I am thinking I do not have much else to offer in the way of support. Yes I get down somtimes about the fact from what he has told me, his BP is getting worse. I just do not know where to go from here?
By the way, I have never met him in person. Because of my chronic Crohn's disease I could not travel and he has been very sick also over the last 4 years.
I do not want to walk away from him but the distance is draining us both.
Anyone have any thoughts? I know this post is leaving out alot of details, was just looking for thoughts.

[OurLadysTears]

Long distance relationships can be tough. I know, because I have been in them and I'm in one now that is pretty much on its last string. The only way you guys can make this work is by one of you buckling down and traveling the distance.

[IceCreamKid]

I think you have gotten the extent of what you are going to get from this relationship and if I were you, I would pull back. I hope you are not giving him money.

[Likeable-me]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

I think you have gotten the extent of what you are going to get from this relationship and if I were you, I would pull back. I hope you are not giving him money.

Thanks for your thoughts I appreciate your time to answer.
Nope he has never asked or suggested I send him any money.
I have tried to pull back but he will go into a crisis mode and want to talk.
I guess I have a hard time turning him away because I do really care for him and his wellbeing.

[Rose76]

I think you should respect his boundaries. You might give some thought to tightening up your own. There is an old saying: "If you want to know someone - Live with them." You do not really know this man, although you seem to think you do. Your deep feelings are for the man that you imagine him to be. What you imagine may, or may not, correspond with the reality. Already you and he are at odds over where you each want this relationship to go. If you are being drained, you have every right to lower the intensity of your involvement.

[Likeable-me]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I think you should respect his boundaries. You might give some thought to tightening up your own. There is an old saying: "If you want to know someone - Live with them." You do not really know this man, although you seem to think you do. Your deep feelings are for the man that you imagine him to be. What you imagine may, or may not, correspond with the reality. Already you and he are at odds over where you each want this relationship to go. If you are being drained, you have every right to lower the intensity of your involvement.

I am sorry, I think you misunderstood me. I believe I know enough about his situation to want to support him as he is a human being!! We know we would like to meet someday, it is more if I can emotionally support him more than I already am, with our distance.
The only thing I didn't become offended with, is your comment on lowering my intensity..so I will thank you for that

[Rose76]

Likeable-me is right. My post was out-of-line.
Regretfully, Rose

[wrthlss]

I won't judge but I will say you are one strong woman to stick around for him. Most women would have picked up & left. I do admire you for striving & continuing to stick by him since most people lose hope especially with someone with such a disease as bipolar, its like aids everyone is scared of it & no one understands it they just judge & label it as "crazy." So you being supportive & not having met him is a courageous thing to do especially long distance.