[Belle1979]

Just need to get this out there... I sent it to him in a facebook message.. but still need it to be REAL

I would guess you knew after seeing Jane that I would probably comment :P

I have actually been wanting to write or call or something for a couple of months! I have so much unresolved anger towards you... so yep after all this time I am just going to actually say it.. its my time afterall and I can spend it anyway that I f**king want :P

The anger.. the anger is that I was totally understanding and caring and NICE so f**king NICE to you while you were cheating on me and had another woman in my bed and house... You know why I was nice? nothing to do with loving you at the time... it all has to do with me actually just being a gentle nice person when it comes down to it! You know what is really f**ked? After everything you did and put me through.. including the "I don't think I love Lisa and I made a huge mistake.." stuff in May last year... You know what?! I actually wanted to be friends with you.. and thats why I was nice. I didn't want to write off 6 years of my life and pretend that I never knew you.

anyways.. am babbling a little haha... What I simply want to say is HOW DARE YOU TAKE YOUR FRIENDSHIP AWAY. HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME AFTER EVERYTHING I GAVE YOU AND AFTER HOW YOU TREATED ME!

Have a nice day

[Open Eyes]

Belle, I know you have a lot of anger and it is always good to get it out. It sounds like you were the one that was the better, kinder, more considerate.

But, just to let you know, when someone cheats or lies to another person they carry a lot of guilt. And when that happens they are often mean to the person they have hurt if they continue to hold in the deceit. And even though they many eventually admit the lie or cheating they will still feel undeserving of that other person. It is not really on a conscious level but is often apparent in their actions.

You are a very forgiving person, but that doesn't guaruntee you a continued connection with one who has deceived you. You can forgive someone but you cannot make them forgive themselves. AND, there are those people in the world that cannot be true to anyone and once they are discovered, they just leave and move onto someone else.

You are much too pretty to use swear words. You can be just as effective without them.

Open Eyes

[lynn P.]

Hi (((Belle1979))) - I haven't seen you in the forums for a while and nice to see you again. Sorry you're upset. Are you talking about your ex fiance? You and I are similar - we're nice people who don't deserve men like that. He really doesn't deserve even your friendship you know. I hope one day you'll find a man who equally nice and loyal.

[Belle1979]

Hey Lynn

I have been missing for a while.. I guess I have felt pretty good and life has been great..
Big news is that I gave up smoking lol.. its a huge achievement for me.

I had some old hurts brought up this morning.. it has made everything come to a point where I needed to actually say something.. so I have!
I had been waking up sobbing a few times a week because of the who ex thing.. dreaming about him and things out of my control I guess... the news I heard yesterday about him made me simply want to get it all off my chest finally.. I hope that this is end of my hurt/anger/frustration. I don't expect a reply from him - this was actually all about me for once!
I hope you have been well

[lynn P.]

I'm okay Belle thanks for asking. I understand all the anger you feel and I think its good to let it all out. Maybe you've reached the point where you don't even care to be friends with someone who hurt you so bad. Last time I heard about your ex is his partner was expecting a baby. I still don't understand why people cheat.

[Belle1979]

You have a brilliant memory!
What I found out yesterday is that she is now not pregnant.. I am not sure of the back ground or what happened (though through friends it is believed that she was never pregnant and that it was a lie).
You are right, I don't want his friendship ... I had long term relationships prior to having this one and I had never regretted a moment spent in them - even the one that 'stole' my teenage years haha .. this one I can actually say I feel like I wasted a lot of time and I have many regrets about even being in the relationship for 6 years.

I am glad you are okay

[lynn P.]

Wow about the pregnancy lie - that's pathetic. I wouldn't be surprised if they're not happy lol. What goes around comes around Belle. I doubt she trusts him much considering what he did to you.

[Belle1979]

Karma.. and all that lol

I doubt he would trust her either.. she cheated on her BF of 3 and a half years to be with him, they are as bad as each other :/

[Belle1979]

Just have to clear up the pregnancy thing.. others are now saying that she was pregnant.. so half say it was a total lie and fabrication.. the other half say that she was pregnant.. Who knows..

[John25]

Isn't it time to just move on and let the past where it belongs? Who cares if his girl-friend was or wasn't pregnant? Also, why would you wish them bad things; it will only limit yourself in moving on.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by John25

Isn't it time to just move on and let the past where it belongs? Who cares if his girl-friend was or wasn't pregnant? Also, why would you wish them bad things; it will only limit yourself in moving on.

Venting anger is part of the healing process when a person experiences severe betrayal. Maybe Belle hasn't reached that point in her healing process yet - she's sharing how she feels. Regarding Karma - yes it does feel good passing along the frustration to Karma. What goes around comes around, is appropriate for people who choose to stab others in the back.

[Open Eyes]

I agree with Lynn that we all need to express our anger instead of hanging onto it.
I know all too well what happens when I try to suppress my anger, somehow in the brain it just piles up.

But I do agree with you John, it is often a waste of a true kind heart to wish others to suffer. The truth is that if others lie, and cheat, and deceive they will never truely be happy inside, they will always carry guilt and will suffer the consequences of their behaviors.

Open Eyes

[Open Eyes]

I agree with Lynn that we all need to express our anger instead of hanging onto it.
I know all too well what happens when I try to suppress my anger, somehow in the brain it just piles up.

But I do agree with you John, it is often a waste of a true kind heart to wish others to suffer. The truth is that if others lie, and cheat, and deceive they will never truely be happy inside, they will always carry guilt and will suffer the consequences of their behaviors.

Open Eyes

[Belle1979]

Open eyes, I am not wishing bad on other people - otherwise I would be gloating in the fact she possibly lost the baby.

John, it will be in my past when I am finally PAST it - think about it.

Once again and big thank you to Lynn for understanding, knowing the story (and remembering it so well) and for always being supportive