I Am Engaged

Hi guys

I have some big news. I am officially engaged I can’t believe I am writing this but I am and I am really happy. Mandy loves daisies so I bought her some today and I spread them all out over my bed with a poem I wrote for her and a small card that said I love you. When she saw them she was really surprised and I got my guitar out and played a song I wrote for her. I’ve been working on the song since we got together and she cried when I played it to her and said it was beautiful.

I told her that she completed me and I wanted to spend the rest of my life completing her and she asked me if I was asking her to marry me which I actually wasn’t but I said I was and she said yes. It all just happened so fast and I didn’t have a ring to give her but she didn’t mind so I got down on my knees and kissed her hand. I am going to get her an engagement ring tomorrow but she doesn’t want me to spend too much money on it because she knows I have only started at my new job and I don’t have much money on me. She even offered to pay for it herself but I told her I wanted to buy it for her.

When I went into this relationship I had the intentions of going slow but we’ve done nothing but the opposite and it might sound crazy but I don’t regret it. Maybe I am just blinded by love and desire but I can’t see myself living a life without her. Since she’s moved in we’ve grown so close together and she’s diminished all the tension inside of me. I feel the happiest I have been in years and I know she feels the same way. I asked her if she thought we were going too fast again and she said there are going to be people like her parents who will think we are but she didn’t care because she loved me more than she has ever loved anybody before.

Mandy is just incredible and she is so beautiful but at the same time she is down to earth and that's what I love about her. I’ve been through so much over the years losing Jessica and Rachel I’ve done some horrible things to people when I was drunk and under the influence of drugs that I can never take back but Mandy sees through all my flaws and she loves me. I don’t think I am a great looking guy. I’m only six foot, I don’t have huge muscles, I am skinny, I’m still seeing a psychiatrist, I’m not rich – I might be one day when I get my writing career back on track but until then I’m just working as a part time computer teacher but none of that bothers her.

I have some low self esteem issues which Mandy says are caused by my past but when I’m with her and I look into her eyes they all disappear. She makes me feel so strong and I feel like I could do anything with her by my side. Nobody was there for me when Jessica passed away. I had to handle everything on my own and nobody was there for me when Rachel passed away either but I know Mandy is there for me when I need her and I am always going to be there for her too.

There are going to be struggles ahead but I think we can survive them together. We are not going to rush our wedding and we’ve decided we are going to wait at least six months until we have it. We are going to buy our own house in that time too and Mandy wants us to move into it after we have the wedding. Once again, I know we haven’t been together for long but I feel like this is the right decision. I was talking to my Grandfather about it and he got engaged to my Grandmother after only knowing her for a month and he had some of the best years of his life with her up until she passed away of pneumonia when I was only four. Mandy and I have known each other a lot longer than that

If it feels right, do it.

Best wishes. <3

i'm so happy for you. I know you two will be very happy together. It is a good idea to wait on the wedding. as for everything else, who care about what others will say, just as long as you two know it right for you guys. Best of wishes to you both.

I enjoyed reading your sweet post. Congratulations and best of luck to you and Mandy.

Congrats and best wishes

Thanks guys. Mandy and I went out today and I got her an engagement ring. It wasn't the best ring in the jewelers and I really wish I could have afforded something better because she deserves it but she told me she loved it and it was what it symbolises that is important.

I can’t stop cuddling her now. We spent most of this morning in bed just holding each other and talking about what we were going to do with our lives and it's honestly been one of the happiest days of my life When we were at the shops we kept stopping so I could hug her and she thought it was really cute and she said I love you too Bear Bear lol

Uh...er....okay.

Well, basically I wasn’t sure at the time Soul Quake. I actually did all that for Mandy as an apology for calling her Jessica and she thought I was going to ask her to marry me. I thought about it for a short time and then I remembered Rachel used to always tell me life was about taking risks and doing crazy things and if you couldn’t do that you couldn’t live your life to life to the fullest so I took a risk and I said I was and she said yes. I could just tell by the look on her face that she was so happy and I think if I had told her no I would have upset her. We are going to wait six months to get married and if things don’t work out between us in that time we’ll break up and we’ll move on with our lives but if they do (which I hope they do) I have an amazing woman who loves me and I love her.

I am happy for you, congratulations

Congrats

I just started reading "Things I Wish I'd Known Before Getting Married" by Gary Chapman, the same author of the Five Love Languages.

I'd recommend it for you (even though I'm only in the first few chapters and not sure it currently applies to my own relationship). But while I'm reading it, I honestly keep having you and your relationship pop into my head. Being 100% honest here, I'm worried about you...

Thanks for the concern. I will look into the book you mentioned but at the moment I don't think I have anything to be worried about. I love Mandy and she loves me and if things don't work out between us we'll just get a divorce somewhere down the line and move on with our lives. We are going to wait six months before we get married too.

I am aware we haven't been together very long and we've only known each other for just under a year but we have both never been happier and we think are making the right decision. I'll admit, the first thing that attracted me to Mandy was she was like Jessica but I basically fell in love with Mandy for being 'Mandy.' There are still things I don't know about her and I am still finding out (like I mentioned on my 'I Have A Problem' thread) but everybody has their problems and nobody is perfect.

If Jessica had lived we would have got married and it probably would have been a perfect marriage because we knew each other so well and we loved each other. She was like a sister to me (in a non sick way) and we wanted to be together forever. I asked her to marry me when I was only fourteen, she said yes and I put a burger ring on her finger. We spent the next two years planning what we were going to do with our lives until she was ultimately taken away from me for reasons I’ll never understand. I’m never going to be able to have that type of a relationship with another woman but with Mandy I can have something close and I will happily settle for that.

I think the absolute most concerning thing you've said thus far is that if it doesn't work out "we'll just get a divorce." I find it very, very disturbing that someone about to be married (I'm sorry, 6 months is about to get married), is so open to the idea of divorce. I can now completely understand why divorce rates stay at 50% when there are people willing to throw away such important vows when things get a little sticky instead of figuring out how to have a healthy, long lasting relationship now. If that is something you are seriously considering as an acceptable way out, then you need to look up the cost of a divorce lawyer now.

I know my relationship with my fiance is not typical, but we've been together for 5 years, have been engaged since Christmas and our wedding date isn't until June 2012. But, honestly, we've been through more than probably a large portion of married couples, and that's how i know we'll stay together long after I walk down that aisle. This is why I'm worried about you. You can't see the possibility that things aren't going to be perfect forever, and I'm seriously worried that the first time a real problem comes up, you're going to bail on each other rather than accept things and try to make it work. This feeling of wonderful, all encompassing to the point of distraction love won't last. It'll last probably about two years, and then what?

And in regards to your other thread about her violence. I find that really immature behavior that you need to talk to her about. What bothered me the most was that she got you fired. A) If she can dish it out, she should be willing to accept the consequences, ie, not have you covering up for her. And B) you shouldn't be burning employment bridges, because what if you couldn't get another job, what if your boss had filed charges, what if this follows you and makes it harder for you to find work in the future? To be absolutely frank, it's just plain stupid. I hate my fiance's boss at the job he's leaving, and I keep wanting to do exactly what your girlfriend did, but I won't, because my fiance doesn't want me to, and I don't want to hurt him in anyway possible. I really think Mandy should probably get into an anger management program before she ends up spending some time in jail for beating someone to a pulp.... Her past really isn't an excuse...

I'm sorry if I came off as harsh, but I'm honestly worried that you're in for a rude awakening....