[Jenn1fer82]

I thought he would always be there for me but from the moment I told him I'm going in for surgery he's avoided to see me, call me and text me. We've been broken up on and off for 4 months and before I found out I was going in for brain surgery we were broken up for about 2-3 weeks. I needed someone to be there and he was the first person I thought about and it just broke my heart that he didn't want to take part in my life as a support.

I kept asking him to come over to see me, spend time with me bc I was so scared. He kept stringing me along. He didn't call anymore and his texts were less and less. I finally got the hint that he didn't want to get involved. I finally changed my number and blocked him from my facebook. I changed my number to help myself from moving on and end those endless days thinking someday, he'll call me.

We broke up for many reasons but our love was always there for one another. I wasnt asking for him to come back and be with me. I was the one who ended the relationship. I was only looking for support especially when he was my strongest support back then. He was the one who helped me stay strong before when I was going through with my health issues. Now my surgery is only 10 days away and how I wish he was here. I wish I could see him when I open my eyes after the surgery. I miss our love, our love made me feel safe and comfort.

Our relationship didn't work out and I know it wouldn't and I left. At a time like this I just want to be love. I saddens me that I loved the wrong man.

[Willcat]

I have loved and lost so many times that a new awareness of love developed. My heart remains unguarded, my eye of discrimination is forever acute.

[NuckingFutz]

Well, at least now, after you heal, you can find the right man for you. Someone who will be loyal and stick by you even if you attempt to break things off.

Can you keep us posted about your upcoming surgery and how you are feeling about it and also your love life?

Maybe this is a time for new beginnings for you sweetie.

[Richardrahl]

Hey Jenn,

Ive been through something similar of late, I provided help and support for someone going through surgery and rough times, I listened to their words about how they loved me, how they cared, how they would always be there, and then once they had taken what they needed from they left in a heartbeat. Like your relationship ours was rocky as we both have issues, but I always thought we would be able to get past that.

I understand your sense of loss because I feel that everyday, its terrible to feel that way and I know no matter what anyone says that feeling wont leave you until your ready to move on.

Love is a hard enotion to deal with because it is so powerful, it governs so much in our lives, it has the power to lift us up and make us feel like gods or shatter us against the rocks and leave us broken.

I dont think its right to say you loved the wrong man, you loved who you loved thats the way of life, you loved and it didnt work out but there is no shame in feeling the way you do, once you get through your surgery, youll have a bright future to focus on. I know it doesnt really help, but I understand how you feel. Dont punish yourself for missing someone who matters to you, all that your feeling is normal even if it is hard.

I hope you can handle your feelings better than I ever could.

Rick

[shezbut]

(((Jenn1fer82)))

I'm sorry that your ex has disappointed you by not being there as a friend.

Hold on to the fact that there are people in this world that care about you, and won't feel weird around you after the surgery. Having someone partially there after such an emotional event ~ someone kind of "standing back" hurts a heck of a lot more than them not being there at all. I know that part probably doesn't help you feel better.

Give yourself a gentle pat on the back for me. You will make it through this challenging time of life without him. It is hard and very disappointing, but you will make it through. People will be amazed by your strength ~ by YOU. Trust me. That time will be here before you know it! Try to hold onto the hope that you have for a healthier future, and keep that focus in your mind as your surgery comes up.

You're welcome to PM me anytime. I've had the same surgery & will be keeping my you in my good thoughts. Remind yourself of that for when you are feeling alone & that no one could possibly understand. I'll be there. Very gentle hugs sent to you

Btw, which hospital will you be going to? UCLA, Stanford, UCSF?

[palemoss]

wow i am so sorry to hear that. it is his loss. his major loss.