[Datt]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 yrs now, in the past 6 months we have been having more trouble getting along. We used to get along great and I was sure he was the one for me. Lately we argue a lot and just can't get along. One of our major problems is he has a married couple that he has been friends with for several years they have always been pretty close they recently had a kid and my boyfriend is the godfather. I feel like the friends have always been obsessed with my boyfriend but now it is much worse. And my boyfriend is so obsessed with them he can't hardly go one day with out stopping by their house, they send him pics of their kid everyday, make him lunches for work call him non stop, and when he is out of cell service and can't be reached they freak out and start worrying right away. He can't do anything with out telling them ahead of time. And I have never felt like an equal around them or like his girlfriend of 3 years even, I feel like a total outsider, like they have their own little family and I am not part of it. They act like their kid is his kid too. I know he is the god father and that is very special I just didn't realize that meant he was a parent to the kid also. Am I totally nuts or is there some sort of logical and reasonable thinking here?

[Starvin4Perfection]

I don't know the whole situation, but from my perspective... no, that's weird. I would feel the same way as you... someone needs to cut the cord... just sayin

[Datt]

Originally Posted by Starvin4Perfection

I don't know the whole situation, but from my perspective... no, that's weird. I would feel the same way as you... someone needs to cut the cord... just sayin

THANK-YOU! There is definitely more to the story, it has been an ongoing thing for quite some time now but just keeps getting worse and worse. I love this guy but man I dont know how much more I can take. I have been thinking I need to go to a therapist and tell them my whole story and try to get over this because I feel crazy for thinking like this. I have had boyfriends in the past with good friends but I have never noticed anything like this before. Im so glad I found this site, I am very interested in what other people have to say about the situation.

[Soul Quake]

Have you told him any of this; that you feel these people come first?

[Datt]

Originally Posted by Soul Quake

Have you told him any of this; that you feel these people come first?

Ya I actually have multiple times. I used to get kinda mad about it because he works with the guy all day and then he would come home and talk to him non stop on the phone or texting him. Then he got mad because he felt like I was always on his *****. I stopped saying anything for a long time until it just got worse. Lately I have told him several times how I feel and I don't think he understands it. I think he thinks I'm trying to be controlling and doesn't see why I feel the way I do. It irritates me so bad lately I almost can't stand the other people. I feel bad about that but I don't know how to change the way I feel.

[Soul Quake]

If your delivery consists of being "mad," then his defenses will go up. He calls you controlling, yet you claim he gives them a head's up before he does anything, and they constantly phone him.

Ask him, without being irritated, or coming across as though there's ill-will behind the question, what he thinks of the relationship, and if he is okay with it. If you already know the answer, don't bother. If he does not see this as a problem, and is fine with codependency, then you know what to do.

[Datt]

Originally Posted by Soul Quake

If your delivery consists of being "mad," then his defenses will go up. He calls you controlling, yet you claim he gives them a head's up before he does anything, and they constantly phone him.

Ask him, without being irritated, or coming across as though there's ill-will behind the question, what he thinks of the relationship, and if he is okay with it. If you already know the answer, don't bother. If he does not see this as a problem, and is fine with codependency, then you know what to do.

Thanks for some advice I definitely need it. I think I know the answer but I may try and bring it up again, I am just so irritated with all of it, that even the little things having to do with their relationship are bothering me now. I feel like it has come to a point that I am not going to get over it, and Im pretty sure he is not going to change anything because Im pretty sure he is ok with it all and I think he is kinda obsessed with these people too, actually I know he is at least from my point of view.
I feel like I am leaving out some info on the whole situation, like how bad it actually is! There is so much to tell I just cant think of everything that goes on!