[redlightning]

Hello I've been with my partner for 6 years, we have split up 3 times in that time but even though we were apart we continually slept together our sexlife wasn't the problem for our splits it was the fact that my partner had commitment issues. The whole time we were together before our last split not once did he tell me that he loved me. Last year while we were apart he contacted me and begged me back he stated that he loved me and couldnt see his life without me. He moved to Sydney for work while I stayed in Brisbane, 4 months ago I decided to pack everything up and move to Sydney to be with him. We have lived together for 4 months now and our sexlife was good at the start 3-4 times a week then it dropped to once a week and now I'm lucky to get it at all. He doesnt show me any attention and treats me more like a room mate then a lover when I ask him how he feels about me he tells me he loves me and he doesnt want to lose me. I dont know if I should believe him. I cry myself to sleep everynight I love him so much and I dont want to lose him again. What can I do to bring the romance back into our relationship and get him to want me again?

[Leed]

Hi ! I think first I would find out if he's HEALTHY. He could use a physical right now -- see if he's open to the idea. Let him know that you're just concerned about him and want to make sure he's ok.

If his health is ok, why not try "romancing" him. Have supper with candlelight -- get a nice bottle of wine & serve it. Later, put on your prettiest negligee & strut your stuff. LOL If you've tried all that, I would suggest couples counseling. MANY people go for counseling for just the problem you describe. If he loves you, he'll go. There must be a reason for this severe slow-down of intimacy. Try to talk with him -- see if you can't improve the communication between you.

I wish you the very best -- Please keep us posted. Hugs, Lee

[alwaysrejoice]

My husband wont touch me either. It has been months. He says he is too stressed out for it, but won't see anyone. It's ironic because every tear I cry he tells me I need to see the doctor. Let me know if you find an solution id love to know. I cry about this a lot too. It makes me feel like Im ugly or unwanted.

[Mediator]

I do not know if it is sex what makes relantionship, but if I read above, I think there is missing first of all a basic care of your husbands. Something if they cares why are you crying or if you r happy.

[siriushousewife]

I'm not sure about how to rekindle the flame, but I have found men are attracted to women who are doing their own thing. My advice would be to explore things you are interested in and get active in pursuing them. Crafts, reading, history, art, whatever you're into. The more you seem interested in life and living, the more attractive you naturally become. Cheesy, possibly, but it does seem to work. Sometimes sex isn't the most important thing, anyway, if you have a good emotional and intellectual connection! I personally have never had good luck with the lingerie-seduction method. I also agree about the health check-up!

[StrongerMan]

My ex gf accused me of having "commitment issues" as well because she could not admit that the problem might be her. It just had to be me. Meanwhile, it was a herculean task to deal with her temper tantrums, controlling nature and emotional immaturity. At times I'd just give up and try to leave. But she would prey on my caring, loyal nature and guilt me into staying by telling me I was quitting on us. She said she wanted to "work on things" but it was always blamed on me. She never did any work on herself. And around we went. I think your main focus should be on the real reasons why you two keep breaking up and why you think he has commitment issues. Not to be blunt, but sounds like he is scared of being alone but also not happy in the relationship. Just a man's perspective.