Scared, hurt and confused

I feel like I cant escape a never ending nightmare.
I am an American living in France, married to a French man for the past 8 years.
He has been mentally abusive and sexually promiscuous since day one but felt helpless to leave because I have 2 young children here and no support system other than the family of my husbands.

A few weeks ago I asked him for a divorce even tho I know damn well that I have no where else to go and I find myself now living (seperated) with an abuser who is "miraculously" been converted to husband of the year and I cant stand the site of him. I asked him to move in with his parents but he doesnt want to because he has no privacy there. I want away from him and I am at a desperate point where I will grab on to anything and everything that could get me out of here. I am having so much trouble dealing with the hatred and the helplessness. I hate having to ask him for anything, yet he is the only one who I can ask.

You poor thing. Do you have any family in the States that can help you? Could they send you some money to get back home?

What about shelters there? Do they have any such thing? I know it's not the best solution, but it's better than living with an abuser!!! You need to get yourself and your child out of there, before you child thinks that this is the "normal" way of living!!

Do you have any friends there who might be able to help?

I wish I had some definite solution to your problem. I lived with an emotionally abusive man for 26 years, and finally got the nerve to leave --- I thought he'd kill me! He stalked, called at all hours, threatened, etc., and finally bought a house near mine! I ended up having to sell my house and move out of town.

So I know where you're coming from -- go to a shelter if you have to. I wish you the very best -- God bless and please keep us posted as to how you are. Hugs, Lee

Hello, Laelle. Perhaps you might find some resources by calling the U.S. Embassy in France?

Thank you so much for the replies.

I have no family in the states that would help me to get on my feet to become independent in Europe. They would send me money to come home, but im not leaving my kids. I havent called the embassy because franklly all the times i have called before i never got a live human being on the phone. I guess i will try to give them a call tomorrow, but im not holding my breath.

I'm not scared of him in the way that he would physically hurt me, its more about being demeaned and bullied. Because of me asking for divorce he is getting help and realizes he has issues. I am very happy about that. On the other hand...for me, the damage is done and I as much as i would like to have a reconciled family...I smacked my face on the same wall a million times, im not about to do it again.

For me, there arent many places to go to stay close to my kids.

mind if I ask - are the kids American or French? guessing french by the way you say it (I'm talking legally of course

You say you don't want to come to the States cause you want to be near your children -- Can't you bring them with you? How old are they? Of COURSE you want to be with your kids -- the fact that he probably wouldn't want to be saddled with 2 young kids makes me think that he probably wouldn't mind if you took them to the States.

I think I would ask my family to help me move back. At least you would have a support system -- and people who cared about you.

I know you're unhappy -- I would be too if I had had to deal with this for years. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

My son has dual citizenship.. but his usa passport has expired and I need my husbands signature to get it renewed.
My daughter has only french citizenship. To get her usa citizenship I need his signature. As you can probably guess he isnt making a beeline to help me with this.

I have nothing in the USA to go back to, this isnt even an option for me.