[dpadilla89]

today was confusing.

i had gotten to school today which i was totally unexpected turnout. Well, my friend Lilly and i have known eachother for about two-three months now, since the beginning of my new school enrollment. She's really nice. Anyways, yesterday i was talking to her online and she had told me she liked me. i was unsure of what she exactly meant, so i ignored her for a minute. She then told me she REALLY REALLY liked me and she cant stop thinking about me all day. (By the way, she knew i was attracted to girls too.) She then had told me that she really loved me. I was like, o0o0o. She only knows me for two months and she loves me?? ook. Anyways, i then told her i had to go and i would talk to her tomorrow. So, tomorrow came. Today, she kept writing me 'love' notes as you would call them and then begged me to go out with her, and we could still stay friends if we ever broke up. Well, i explained in the note, (tried to break it off easy.) that I didnt want to ruin our friendship because it always gets ruined in the end and i think it would be too weird to go out with a friend from school anyways. Especially what other people would think, starting out with a great rep., eh? Anyways, so i IMed/emailed her tonight (i was asking my friends for advice) and i said to her that i think i would rather be friends, i didnt want to ruin our friendship because in the end its ALWAYS like that usually. So, she never answered me. Put her away message up and it said, fck, fck me, i'm ugly and a fat peice of sht, and how its time to take out the "knifey and play" and all this crap. Now, shes not talking to me. Shes like, so0o0o at me right now and barely, hardly talking to me. Its kinda annoying. I just wish she werent mad at me, cause shes a really nice, good person too. BUT--i'm also afraid that she might STAY mad at me come monday and then like, tell my school that i'm..gay. heh. And that wont be good considering theres only 84 kids in my whole school. lol. and people can be REALLY judgmental there, and my therapists there might find out and then im screwed. yeahh. heh. idk what to do, im just puzzled at the moment. And i'm worried as hell too that my rep is going to get ruined not to sound selfish. What should i do about this???? Ooh, i'm more attracted to older girls, too. yeahhh.

Feedback would be helpful.

Thanks.

Deb

[Lexicon78]

Well, it sounds like you did the right thing. I mean you don't want to get involved right now, especially with the way the school is. She said that you'd stay friends even if you two broke up, but if doesn't sound like she's being the friend she said she'd be regardless of what happens. Sometimes people react in a negative way, and we can't prevent that.