[LMo]

I have a dilemma.

I have a friend who I don't know very well, but shortly after we met and spent time together socially, I hired her to be my cleaning lady. She is a full-time cleaner so it's her job, but I also like hanging out with her socially. I have spent some time with her and her boyfriend, and their two children - ages 4 and 6 months. They are a wonderful family and I love the kids -- the 4 year old is fun to be around and I like spending time with her as well.

My dilemma: I am paying her to clean the house so that I can work instead. I work from home and it's hard enough keeping my focus on client work especially since I'm kind of burnt out by what I do and don't really like it anymore. I hired a cleaning person because I was getting really distracted by household chores, and found myself cleaning in the middle of the day instead of working. She was my solution to that -- take the chores away from me so that there is one less excuse.

However, she always brings her 4 year old with her. Sometimes the baby, too, but her boyfriend often cares for the baby. The 4 year old is, as I said, a lot of fun and she loves me. However, if I were going to take the time to babysit, I might as well just clean my own house and save myself the money.

I don't really manage people on a regular basis, so I'm unsure how to talk to her about this. Today, when they arrived, I explained that I have to get a lot of work done and that I hope that she brought a book or a movie so that her 4 year old could entertain herself. She said no problem, she understood. But, what I REALLY want to ask is if there is any way of leaving the 4 year old home with her boyfriend and the baby instead. He works from home, too, so I imagine that he is asking that the 4 year old go along on the house cleaning trips, but I'm the one paying for it. And of course I feel bad because I don't want the 4 year old to feel shuffled around.

Advice?

[Lexicon78]

I would just tell her how you feel about bringing the 4 year old to work is affecting your work. I know this won't be easy, but if you were working out of the home, could you bring your kid to work everyday? I don't think so.

[LMo]

I know, but it's hard to confront her about this. I'm shaky about the friend/client part of it. Plus, I don't know what her options are. I know that daycare is expensive. If she could afford daycare, then she wouldn't be cleaning houses.

[nothemama8]

If she is a professional (sp) cleaning person , she knows she should not be bringing a child to the job, explain you are conserned about liability , if child gets hurt on your premises your responseable, job safety issues, etc.
Angie

[LMo]

Thanks Angie - that would seem out of place, too, considering they have all been over socially and I didn't seem concerned about her running around and playing

She did do a good job of keeping the 4 year old with her today. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal about it than I should. Truly, it didn't take much more time out of my day than if she hadn't brought her. Maybe I'm just easily irritated...

[Overcastbutclearing]

My suggestion would be the day before she is scheduled to come over again call and let her know that you will be out running an errand or go to the library and get some work done. This will allow her the practice of NOT bringing the kids w/ her since she needs to get her cleaning done.
Do this a few times till that becomes the practice....

Again..just a suggestion!

[LMo]

That's a good one -- I like that. She's not exactly relying on me to watch her kids, but I know that she likes to see her daughter interact with people. None of it is wrong in itself; it's just that I don't want the distraction.

I might do that -- thanks!

[Overcastbutclearing]

Hey, let me know ok!
I hope you just feel more relaxed and less stressed...that is what I want to see!