[xxKaneLovesZoexx]

The Problem:

For a few days me and my girlfriend have been having some problems. She was invited out for Coffee with somebody she works with. I must admit, I am quite paranoid and protective. So anyway, we had a few arguments about it.

My girlfriend's opinion is that he is just being nice, and want's to have a chat, ect.

My opinion is that he wants to get to know her a little bit more, and take it from there. Sort of like a date.

[dusty9838]

Originally Posted by xxKaneLovesZoexx

The Problem:

For a few days me and my girlfriend have been having some problems. She was invited out for Coffee with somebody she works with. I must admit, I am quite paranoid and protective. So anyway, we had a few arguments about it.

My girlfriend's opinion is that he is just being nice, and want's to have a chat, ect.

My opinion is that he wants to get to know her a little bit more, and take it from there. Sort of like a date.

I agree with your opinion. Guys don't just regularly invite a girl out of coffee/dinner as friends, most times it's because they are wanting to get to know them. There are times where this may not be the case, but usually it is.

I think you should make the decision where if this is too uncomfortable for you to let her know and if she doesn't agree with you then it may not be best to stay in a relationship that you remain uncomfortable in... it won't do you any good trust me.

Best of luck with it.

[Helloanxiety]

I'll have you know we're not in an uncomfortable relationship, we are in a very stable and happy and content relationship. We both love each other very much and simply because we disagree on one small subject does not mean we should end the relationship! We want help on how to handle this so we can stay together and be happy, not to simply end it because of some stupid argument.

[dusty9838]

Originally Posted by Helloanxiety

I'll have you know we're not in an uncomfortable relationship, we are in a very stable and happy and content relationship. We both love each other very much and simply because we disagree on one small subject does not mean we should end the relationship! We want help on how to handle this so we can stay together and be happy, not to simply end it because of some stupid argument.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply that you should break up. I simply was agreeing with your opinion. Ultimately the best thing you can do is sit down with her and have a long deep conversation on how you feel about the whole mess. I hope everything works out for you.

[xxKaneLovesZoexx]

Anyone else got any thoughts?

[Harvestdream]

I agree with Dusty, 99% guys don't just randomly ask a girl out for "coffee" to be friendly, unless they're gay or family.

[Okami]

Well..... Erm. I've been in a pretty long relationship... And I can honestly say I've taken many women out for tea.. Coffee.. All that good jazz... And yes, we get to know each other... However, it isn't because I'm looking to cheat or fool around... Often times its just that... Harmless socializing. When in the mood, I love to socialize and sometimes that includes females.

But I think the problem in and of itself a lot of the time with relationships is the possessiveness. Even if he does want to take it further with her... Providing you two trust one another and you're confident she won't allow him to take it further, there shouldn't be an issue. Instead of obsessing over the idea that he has romantic intentions... Just be reassured with the fact that she's not that pathetic and won't go with it... Insecurity is a real relationship-killer. If my girl went out with an entire group of guys or girls I wouldn't give a crap because I know nothing would come of it. Not only am I not wasting time being anxious over whether or not she's being 'faithful', but I think at the same time Im not creating an unhealthy, hectic enviroment. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that jazz.

But no... Ending the relationship would be ludicrous... Honestly.

[Irreplaceable]

What? Is your girl naive? My bf wouldn't go for this...At all...In fact, I would not even entertain the idea of going out for coffee with someone of the opposite sex (unless he is gay). His intentions could be harmless, but I've been around the block and would be willing to say that he most likely has different intentions than being just friends...

Edit: I saw the post up top...I'm guessing this is his girlfriend? If it is,don't get mad at me girlfriend...Just stating my opinion on the subject....

[Irreplaceable]

Delete...One post is enough on this subject

[Irreplaceable]

Delete...One post is enough on this subject

[Helloanxiety]

Irreplaceable, just to let you know i've had no intention of actually taking him up on his offer of coffee, and I have been saying this throughout the whole situation that I don't want to go. I understand my boyfriend would get jealous if I went somewhere with another guy and that's why I chose straight away not to go.

[gypsyprincess]

I have to agree with Okami on this one. Although partners share a life, they should also have separate lives and be free to make some decisions on their own. ideally, two people that trust each other will feel secure even when their partner meets with someone who could be potentially romantically intentioned.
It is sooo not an easy thing to do but i hope in my next relationship I will be able to trust my partner like this and not feel like I own him or that he owns me.

Originally Posted by Okami

But I think the problem in and of itself a lot of the time with relationships is the possessiveness. Even if he does want to take it further with her... Providing you two trust one another and you're confident she won't allow him to take it further, there shouldn't be an issue. Instead of obsessing over the idea that he has romantic intentions... Just be reassured with the fact that she's not that pathetic and won't go with it... Insecurity is a real relationship-killer.

[Confusedinomicon]

I am in a long term relationship right now. I don't see any problem with seeing friends of the opposite sex. Granted, most of my friends are females, I still have a few males that I'm close to. I have no aims of pursuing anything beyond a friendship with these people. I think, to a degree, my boyfriend does get jealous. However, it's nothing that gets between us because we have laid a foundation of trust. I've even had lunch with a friend where he paid!

In a way it's me talking about male stars I find attractive. XD He sometimes gets a bit jealous of that, too, but its harmless. I think if your partner is restricting who you can see because they are so fearful of you cheating or bad intentions of the other person there in lies a trust/jealousy issue. If you're going to get coffee, it is at a public place (I am hoping!) and if the partner is getting uncomfortable they can always stop the conversation and leave. Tell them they are uncomfortable with close contact...blahblah. Be confident in the relationship and in the person you are with.

[lexie86]

You say you have a great wonderful relationship and that you are both happy! The problem is not him he may well be wanting to furthur pursue your girlfriend, but you should know by now whether you can trust her or not. If you have a great relationship then you would be sercure enough to know that she will not do anything and is just going for coffee with a guy from work to have a chat, were women we like to chat and dont think like guys.

Relax she told you about the guy and she thinks it innocent, you need to chill and respect and trust her enough to let her go out with male and female friends she will either learn that this guy has other motives or make a new friend. If you trust her and respect her and show her this by how you react to her choices it will only improve your relationship. If you start stypid petty fights then you will only lose her and your relationship will never last.

learn to communicate effectively if you can, jeolousy is never a good sign of a great realtionship as it represents that you dont trust your partner.