[KarmaharleyJD33]

Hi Everyone,

I am a lesbian in a 10 year relationship with a woman who is 30 years older than I. I have been depressed for quite sometime now becuase of the logistics of my relationship with my mate and the lack of time we spent together as a whole. I feel like I never get to spend any amount of time with her and that I do not exist and like I have to wait till she is ready to spend that time with me then I need to be ready. When it comes to our sexual life I have to wait again and then I feel unwanted because she never comes onto me like she wants me or any type of advance of wanting to be close. She will just say its been a while I need to be with you. I feel like I have to do it right then or I will not get to do it at all with her. If I make the date stuff happens and I get put off then she says its because of her age. It has been going on for a while and I have repression issues from fights, emotional stuff that we went through from her cheating, keeping me from my mother, something she did to my daughter a while back in the begining of our relationship, and her not being there in my greatest times of need like my sickness that I went through and the mental depression that I am going through now. She does meth as well and I am just about at a lose with what to do and want to know any opinions and if this is normal. I feel like I am worth the wanting and don't want to feel worthless anymore. I need love, connection, and all that that entails and we have nothing right now.. I hope this makes sense. Just at a loss of what to do inside.. Thanks for listening.. Jessica

[Perna]

Jessica, she does not sound like a woman to be in a relationship with; too much taking and no giving. You come first in a relationship, have to get your needs met, that is why you are in a relationship in the first place! I did not hear anything redeeming actions on her part and a lot that would make you feel stuck and depressed. I would leave her and start again, find someone closer to your age and interests.

[notz]

KHJD,

The relationship you're in does not sound healthy - far from it! If you don't have a T, consider getting one. It seems you have more than one issue and a T would help you.

Glad you're here. There is a LGBTQ section if you're interested. http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=110

You have to join here first. http://forums.psychcentral.com/group.php?groupid=24 If you need help, PM me.

[Lyzzyy]

Your relationship is not healthy at all. I was also in a relationship with a woman and things were the complete opposite, we were too attached which was unhealthy as well. When you are in a lesbian relationship is even harder to find a balance and both parties have to work extra hard to make the relationship work. I recommend you try to put yourself and your daughter first. You have to love yourself in order to be able to love others and in order for others to love you. Try to find someone closer to your age, I am sure there is someone out there who will make you feel loved and valued. Make sure to also work on yourself and know that you deserve more.

[KarmaharleyJD33]

Thank you everyone for your advice.. Your advice has been filled with true love and light and I do appreciate it much. Love to all and I am starting to work on me or have been for a while now... Sometimes we have to go through the darkest ends of ourselves or that unknowing part of ourselves to find the light at the end of that very long unusual tunnel that we get lost in sometimes. What is love without hope though? This is something I ask me all the time. Thank you all. Love and light always.. Jess