PTSD/Relationship...advice please!:)

I am a victim of PTSD and the man I recently started dating is also.We both experienced different trauma.He is an ex marine and I am a victim of sexual assault.It's moderate PTSD for the both of us.We can relate because we both are faced with some of the same struggles, but he seems to be having more trouble adjusting to dating me.We actually haven't even established what we are.I tell him we are going with the flow.It's too soon to tell, but he has already twice stated that he is not good with relationships and probably will never be able to give me one.His actions state something totally different.He treats me so well.When we're together it's as if we're in a relationship without the title.I feel he is guarded and this past week was difficult because he brought up the topic again.I told him it was too soon to discuss serious topics and we're still getting to know eachother.I like the pace we are moving at.We give eachother space, but we still spend time together.We got set up by a mutual friend.His best friend in fact and this mutual friend said since we've been seeing eachother he's seen positive changes in him.I feel good as well.I'm comfortable with him and I feel safe.I don't stress and I just want him to relax with me and see where it goes.He's already doubting any chance before it's even begun.I'm patient and understanding already.Any other suggestions?How can I get him to be less guarded.I want to do this right.I want it to be healthy whether it turns into a relationship later or just friends.I am willing to do anything.It's been so long that i've met a sweet man like him.This PTSD is the only thing that is standing in the way, but because I understand and relate it makes it easier for me to communicate with him and see where he's coming from.He gets in these moods where he shuts down and doesn't want to let anyone in.It's happened twice in the month we've been talking.I back off.I let him come to me when he's ready.Is this correct?Should I be doing something else?

Is this poor guy getting any counseling? If not, he SHOULD be. PTSD is a serious disorder, and he really needs help. If he's trying to deal with it on his own, he's making a big mistake. He could end up "blowing" at any time. Encourage him to see therapy if he's not getting any. I'm sure you help him to a certain extent but he needs professional help.

If he IS getting help, perhaps he should go more often. He's probably going to the VA, and it's difficult to get in in the first place, let alone any more often. I don't know if he could afford pay for therapy on his own, but if he could he just might want to forget the VA and seek private help. That way he could perhaps go more often.

I wish you both the very best of luck. Just be patient with him -- obviously he's been thru a lot and has seen some horrible things. It's going to take a long time for him to get thru this. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

As stated above, it sounds like this man really should be seeking a therapist. PTSD is nothing someone should have to live with on their own if they are that unstable to hold a relationship. The title "dating" or "relationship" really is not the biggest commitment considering you have been talking for a month but...

I would not say to try and push it any further yet until if or when he gets help. If you care about him and you feel he cares about you, what does a title matter? Perhaps if the infadelity is what you are looking to avoid, perhaps tell him "I'm ok with taking things slow and I'm ok with not using the terms boyfriend and girlfriend but if we are going to be getting serious physically or continue getting closer I would like to know you are not talking to others in this way"?

My boyfriend and I started dating about 3 weeks after we met. The first few days it was just getting to know eachother but after day 5 or so, neither one of us were talking to anyone else. It doesn't mean you're "dating" it just means you are lowering your chances for STDs and such (another good point you could bring up?)

I'm having a little bit of trouble however with a title with my boyfriend so I guess we could say we have somewhat similar situations. He and I have now been dating 2 1/2 years and I'm starting to have religious conflicts with the relationship unless I get that ring I'm gonna have to change the relationship around. But he wants to wait and I'm ok with that to an extent. I was the one originally who said I wanted to wait 8 years before that when I met him. Guess I can't complain now but my moralls are changing so yeah... Best of luck to you and wish me luck on telling my bf he's about to possibly be cut off for a while lol

Take care!

Thank you so much you guys.He is taking medication and was doing group therapy which he said helped him, but right now he's not doing any therapy.Since we're in the beginning stages and i'm still trying to get to know him I don't know how to tell him to try seeking therapy again.I tell him i'm here if he needs to talk.I don't want to push him away by pushing anything on him.I haven't made any demands.I have however asked if he is seeing anyone else and he isn't and neither am I.I asked him not to bring up serious talks about relationships as well because I feel it's really soon and I just want to see what happens with us.I really just want him to relax and enjoy his time with me as much as I do with him and stop analyzing everything.It's like he's anticipatinf failure when we haven't even tried.
Lee, thank you for the luck.I'm going to need it or should I say we're going to need it.He's worth being patient for.He's good to me.That right now is what matters.

You are correct about the title not being important.It's definitely not.An yes the infidelity part is my issue.Right again.It's because when I like someone I like to see and talk to only them.I want the same from him which is what seems to be the case so I think we're okay.
As far as you and your bf go.2 1/2 years is a long time.Definitely a serious commited relationship if you guys are just seeing eachother.Is he afraid of marriage and that's why he doesn't want to ask you?Best of luck when you sit and talk to him about being cut off.In what sense do you mean cut off?Like a seperation?I hope it works out for the both of us.