[Distressed2010]

So, I spent most of my life In US. But now i moved back to the country i was born in. Culture shock, yes. Not culturally, but socially. The way things are done, the internet, the tv cable, the no Air conditioner at my gym, etc etc. All the daily frustrations you can think of.

Whats worse. No one gets me. If i complain to my friends in the country i'm living in, they think i'm demeaning the country and I should go back to US. If i try to tell my friends in US, they just don't get it. They start giving me solutions that dont' work in this country.

The truth is, that here words are just words, theres no reliability. People say they'll be meeting you in an hour, and then never call never show up. A guy broke up with me and his last words were Nothing has changed I still love you I'm gonna see you tonight, I never heard from him after.

Ugh. I'm going nuts. And not having to be able to talk to anyone about it without being criticized is driving me more nuts. I hate my ex, I hate him so much, he's always invalidated me, and he smirks at me all the time, like i'm stupid or something.

Not to mention I just lost my dad 2 months ago so I am sort of a reck. I go in and out of cycles. Right now I just cant get anything done.

I have asthma, I go to a US brand gym here, and I have requested them a thousand times please let the air conditioner be on please let it be on, and they don't do crap about it. I get sick. I told the ceo, he keeps saying yes i will look into it, then doesn't. and then doesn't pick up my call either.

Please help. I'm about to lose it. I can't talk to anyone about this anymore. I'm crying right now.

Not to mention, the last time I called my ex saying I miss my dad, and I hadn't really eaten well that day, so for dinner i decided to make eggs and bread, and his thing was NO you have to eat veggies, and I was too tired to make veggies it was 12 am. So i said not now tomorrow. He said Fine then i'm not talking to you until you eat veggies. Are you serious?? I'm crying here about my dad and your'e not gonna be there for me just cos i wont' eat my veggies? ridiculous.

[Ygrec23]

So, what's your gameplan, Distressed? Are you down there or over there just because your Dad died and you needed to be with your family for a while? Or did you plan to move there permanently? I hope not, since you really seem not to like it. Why not move back here? If you spent most of your life here you're more American than not. You're more comfortable with American ideas and ways of thinking and talking about things. Why stay in a country in which you feel yourself a real stranger? Good luck and take care!

[Perna]

That is very hard. I know I visited in another country for two weeks and the differences were subtle like you describe, just not expected! I have asthma and don't know what I'd do if I could not sleep with the thermostat down so I was cool, etc. I know what you're complaining of. Any way you can call around and find an air conditioned gym or some other way to exercise in a cooler space?

I keep carrots and celery around, eat the celery with peanut butter (or cut up an apple and "dip" it in the peanut butter), etc. when things are tough. Not much fixing? I would have just told your boyfriend, "okay, thanks for the reminder" and done whatever I thought was best for me and gotten back to your discussion about your father and how you miss him. I don't know that I'd want to talk to someone that insensitive though, even if they were just about all I had? Do you journal at all? I'd start a journal, try to make it funny, listing all the annoying little ways things are different daily?

Don't know what you can do with the non-reliability of some people. I'd wait for them 10 minutes then call them and do something else if they don't answer or aren't responsive. I'd try to hang around more with groups of people so at least someone might show when plans are made?

[Distressed2010]

Thats the thing Prerna. I know that would be the american way of dealing with it, waiting 10 mins then trying... but here, they say half an hour, which will probably mean anywhere from 2 hours to the entire day. They just SAY stuff and there's nothing really you can do about it.If i even call the mail local office and talk to a senior manager, all they repeat is, We understand mam. And thats it. NO action. We understand mam but we can't do anything about it, we cannot even call the technician from here, we cannot do xyz... but we understand mam.

My gym has an AC but they like turn up the temperature and it gets humid, as it is, this city is known for its humidity. I looked at other gyms, its the same story everywhere.

Thanks for all the help though I do journal, but this grief is killing me, some days i just don't feel like moving, have no motivation at all.