[318mph4me]

I don't even know where to start. Guess I should blame myself for allowing the insanity to continue. I fell in love and believed everything that he promised me. My friends saw him for what he was and warned me but I defended him. Two and a half years laters, I HAVE TO open my eyes and turn off my heart. He has cheated on me constantly, a few regulars and a few new ones thrown in each time. I recently discoved that he stole my ID and credit cards which leads me to believe that the other times money was "missing", he stole it too. He has taken advantage of my kindness and love with no remorse. He has left me literally in debt, broke, devistated, and completely ashamed of myself. And I am so pathetic, I hope that this time he will come back, say he was wrong, and ask me to take him back. HAHAHA. That will never happen. He says that my emotions are "bull**it", I am a "baby", and I just need to get over being so needy. Funny thing is, he has never been there for me, his constant lies and manipulation have caused me to question everything and it's really not funny at all. I don't know how to process all this pain. I've read a lot of articles from the site that say to focus on the bad times and ugly things he has done to keep me focused on reality and away from my heart. Knowing what to do and being able to do it seem so so far way. How can he say he loves me and mistreat me the way he does?
(I just reread what I've written....beyond pathic....I am 47 and have two young girls that I haven't been there for them because I was so wrapped up in this "love.") Where am I going to find the strength to get through this???

[pinkrosepetal01]

i am gonna pray that God gives you strength. you will give up this guy when you are ready to. i hope it doesnt take too long for your and the girls sake. you deserve sooooo much more and so do they. you must feel that he is fulfilling something in yourself. have you discovered what that is?? all the best and i hope
you dont leave it too long.

[Callmebj]

Hi, You might want to re-evaluate the kind of man you are attracted to. Mom concentrate on your children...that's where your heart needs to be. I'm sorry that you've been caught up in such a rotten deal/man. Hoping you work through the heartbreak and find some peace in your life.
bj

[Perna]

Yes, it hurts and is going to hurt. I don't think denying that or finding fault with your feelings will help? You fell in love with a bum, may still love him but that does not say anything about your actions. You are in control of your actions and his words and actions do not help you in any way, in fact they hurt you so your actions have to be to withdraw. Think hand on a hot stove top.

[Open Eyes]

Your not in love with him, your in love with the dream you have about him. Your punishing yourself for being a good person and not recognizing a bad person. No, ofcourse you are not going to understand him, you don't think like him. He doesn't care about anyone, he gave you what he thought you needed so he could play you and take from you. No, he is never going to have any regrets, he is not capable of that, so you might as well realize that is just not going to happen.

These preditors are very good at what they do, you were carefully picked and groomed for his needs. Nice people don't see it coming, they don't think like these preditors and these preditors are well aware of that. Try not to be so hard on yourself for this, learn from it and be very careful from now on.

Dont waste any more love on this person. You can love, yes, he cant, and it is as simple as that. I am very sorry that you had to experience this, I am sure you never deserved it, your probably a very good natured person. And you have to be very careful from now on, not to be in love with love, or the dream. It will only make you a target.

Open Eyes

[Harley47]

I think Open Eyes nailed it. Sometimes, it is very easy to fall in love with what we think someone to be rather than who they are. It can happen to the best of us, and is simply a testament to the power of the heart.

However, you are a mother of two, and barring that, you are a human being. You deserve somebody who isn't going to cheat on you and essentially rob you every chance he gets. That is not love, not at all. It's only in your benefit if you were to leave ASAP, and never look back. I know that is much easier said than done, but it's for the best.

Also, please don't think of yourself as pathetic, or of what you posted as pathetic. That's simply not the case. In order for someone like that to be "successful" in what they do, they have to have at least some degree of charm and attraction. I should know. My father is a perfect example of that. It is not a mark of weakness or poor judgment to fall for someone like that. Being able to realize that you've made a mistake and to pull yourself out of it, however, is a mark of wisdom and strength.

I hope I was of some help. Please take care, and know I am praying for you through this.