So numb.

Maybe this belongs in the depression section, but my depression is caused by my relationships with people. My boyfriend keeps telling me " youre starting to hate me" "were growing apart huh" "i dont deserve you" blah blah ********. I know it stems from his depression, but it makes me question what Im doing to make him think Im starting to love him less. It feels awful. Im in a bad mood, Im a *****. Im in a good mood, I get pushed away (jokingly for the most part). And he seems not to understand that,hey! i have feelings too and Im not happy more than 1% of the day. I recently found out my fathers lied to me the past six or so years the reason why we moved two states away a while ago. Apparently he was ditching state because he owed my gramma hundreds of dollars. **** talked her my whole life to influence me to feel the same, and for a long time it unfortunately worked. My mother is schizophrenic and attempted stabbing/strangling my half sister to death...went to jail all that. now i feel comfortable sending her mail again after years. My best friend since second grade is defending her girlfriend, that she loves oh so much but cant stand and used to complain to me like clockwork every day about her, and shes not even a lesbian, which i witnessed her say to her gf. and i told her i couldnt stand the gf because she got my friend into a perk addiction, as a result of their undying false love I was told never to speak to her again...Ive had a ****** life and Im just starting to realize how not normal it is and my relationships with those five people have done a complete 360, so im confused and very depressed. I just need someone to understandI guess.

You know some of the answers lie in the complexities of relationships. Also, you know other's issues are theirs--& interfer in any relationships they have with you or anyone else.

Your boyfriend is reporting his feelings when he says things like "youre starting to hate me" or "were growing apart huh." Depression is a powerful emotional state that drives a person's feelings; depression makes your boyfriend feel that you hate him--not anything you do. You aren't in charge of his feelings, his depression is.

Unfortunately it seems that those closest to you right now are all separated from you by some sort of mental health issue. None are things easily dealt with by a good friend. Know that your desire to be there for them is admirable, but don't expect something of yourself that's not realistic.

Maybe, in some gentle way, you can urge these people to seek professional help. It is the best help that a good friend can offer in a case such as this.