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#1
Feb 26, 2012, 10:46 PM
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I'm no angel in my marriage; yet as it has been explained to me attempted homicide is not as forgivable as my affair. I could list a zillion things he has done to cut me to the core, but I made the choice to stay with him, and have. Communication between us has gotten way better, both in therapy (when we can afford it.) I'm already dealing with PTSD, depression, and sexual anxiety. I am working on my 4th & 5th in relation to my marriage, at this point I feel like it's our only hope. It's so hard to forgive a man who did me so wrong in so many ways, it's harder to forgive myself for putting Up with it for the sake of "hope." I'm trying, a day at a time, it's hard not to mourn the person I was, and the one I've become because I put faith in a man I swore to love no matter what. I've always loved him; now I have to forgive him..easier said then done.
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"The dog days are over." |
 Callmebj, Harley47
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#2
Feb 27, 2012, 01:40 AM
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Isn't attempted homicide in marriage a definite "deal breaker"?
It isn't natural to work on re-obtaining a healthy marriage with someone who tried to kill us. Yeah, you took an oath years ago, but who knew that he'd try to take your life from you? I'm sure that God (or whoever) wouldn't expect you to stick with him. That just doesn't sound healthy at all to me. (((hugs)))
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"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
| Callmebj
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#3
Feb 27, 2012, 04:33 AM
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Bless your heart Justme....
 I would agree, attempted homicide is without question a deal breaker, and legally grounds for divorce (and a lot else). While I don't know all the backstory to this, if I were to take it at face value...I don't think you should feel required to love him at all, if he literally tried to take your life. I am sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.
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The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Callmebj
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#4
Feb 27, 2012, 07:33 AM
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Bless your heart --- You are much more forgiving that I would be. I don't think I could EVER forgive a man who tried to kill me. And I doubt that my maker would expect me to. Marriage vows are one thing, but attempted homicide is another -- all bets are off then.
 Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for putting up with this jerk. Yes, I know it's hard -- I had to do the same thing years ago because I stayed with an abusive man for 26 years.  But it CAN be done and you HAVE to do it for your own sanity!!! If GOD can forgive you, why can't YOU??? And God HAS forgiven you.  Plus he would forgive you if you bailed out too!Best of luck dearheart -- and God bless! Hugs, Lee |
| Callmebj
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