[Christina86]

Is a constant, neverending headache.

Even when she thinks she's being nice, she's just smothering me and acting more like my mother than my roomate. I wouldn't even mind it (MUCH) if she acted like an older sister, I've never had one but its better than her trying to replace MY OWN MOTHER, I actually do have one!

I asked about her before here on the boards, and the thought was that she's got a toxic personality. I wholeheartedly agree, but here's the problem. I can't leave, and I can't move out. I know I'm dealing with her better than other people have been able to (according to people who've known her for YEARS). I can't subject anyone else to her abuse, thats what it is... abuse. In the least severe condition possible I believe, but still abusive. Other people wouldn't be able to cope, in my opinion. She's just like a sister I have, just not verbally loud, but more bossy.

I really want to work this out, but I haven't the clue how to. Shes been sick lately (she's got a chronic debilitating disease) and the meds she's been on lately make her cranky. And this causes me to avoid her, at all humanly costs.

I've tried helping out, doing the dishes (as I've always done) and making sure she eats (she has a tendency to sleep for hours on end without eating at all, or even getting out of bed) but what the heck am I supposed to do??

I'm her roomate, not her mother. I resent the fact that her former roomate and friend is saddling me with the responsibility to take care of her. I'm not well myself, and I don't have the energy or time to take care of someone else, when I'm faltering when it comes to taking care of MYSELF!



Its not fair that I feel guilty for trying to have my own life. I am doing the "right" thing by doing this aren't I? Isn't it SELF before OTHERS?

It is my fault that I've put off dealing with her for this long, but I honestly have yet to properly grow a backbone and stand up for myself. I know I've got to do this before I wind up going crazy. I've already started...

HELP?!?!

If anyone has any advice for me, please please please tell me. I'm at my wits end here.

[EJ711]

Canders -

I think you should bring this situation to the person, who is responsible for pairing students up in the dorms.

You can say she seems to need care, and that while you can care for yourself, you can't take care of yourself and her too!!!

I would be beating on this person's door first thing tomorrow.

Hugs,

Jane

[Christina86]

Thanks EJ.

I've already spoken with a few people, as it turns out if she gets much worse she'll be leaving my university and going to a "home" of sorts, where she'll get care.

I've got to speak with the Rez staff though, you're right. Thanks

[EJ711]

Hi Christina -

I'm here to help. You don't need this extra staff. You've got enough on your own plate with your studies, and getting on yourself.

Write anytime.

Hugs and love,

Jane