[Panda_Girl_17]

So Im in a love triangle.

And I really like this guy (guy 1) but he doesnt love me back.

And guy 1's best friend likes me, (according to guy 1, and Ive seen guy 2 drop a few hints about him liking me), and I have a few feelings for him. But guy 2 doesnt know that I have a few feelings for him. Only guy 2 knows that. And guy 2 knows that I like guy 1, I believe he does.

Guy 1 says that he (myself) doesnt love me, he says that we will never date. He has even told me to leave our relationship. Well relationship of friends. We never really dated. And he said earlier this month that I should be with guy 2. And he said I should be the one that asks guy 2 out. But the thing is I want to be guy 2's friend first, before him and I officially enter a committed relationship. And I dont wanna jump into a new relationship right now because I still have feelings for guy 1.

A lot of people know that I like guy 1. Everyone knows that guy 1 and guy 2 are best friends.

I was debating if I should be with guy 2.

I made a pro and con chart, just thinking of the pros and cons of my situation. Feel free to add some ideas.

Pros Of Being With Guy 2

• He likes me, so therefore he would care about me

Cons of Being With Guy 2

• It ruin the friendships between us
• I still have feelings for guy 1

Im not asking people to make this decision for me, I just want peoples advice, and what I should be cautious with while making this decision.

[shezbut]

The con that jumps out to me is that Guy 1 doesn't even want to be friends with you.
~ What are the chances that Guy 1 & 2 are going to remain close friends if you were with 2? Wouldn't that cause some resentment?

What kind of feelings do you have towards Guy 1?
~ Just physical attraction? I hope so, because he kind of sounds like a jerk to me. Just because he says that his friend (Guy 2) likes you doesn't mean that his friend actually cares for you. It could be that Guy 2 would love to simply have sex with you. Sex and caring are NOT the same.

I know you aren't looking for other people to make decisions for you ~ and that's a good thing. Just take my words of warning carefully. I'd stay away from both of them if I were you. Guy 2 would have to do something pretty darn special to make me reconsider.

Advice: Stop overthinking this. There is no love triangle. There is no relationship with guy 1. If you want a relationship with guy 2 then you need to discuss it with him. Really, he should be discussing it with you. If you think you will lose his friendship then don't pursue the romance. Believe me, he knows there is nothing between guy 1 and you.
Good luck

[Panda_Girl_17]

Originally Posted by shezbut

The con that jumps out to me is that Guy 1 doesn't even want to be friends with you.
~ What are the chances that Guy 1 & 2 are going to remain close friends if you were with 2? Wouldn't that cause some resentment?

What kind of feelings do you have towards Guy 1?
~ Just physical attraction? I hope so, because he kind of sounds like a jerk to me. Just because he says that his friend (Guy 2) likes you doesn't mean that his friend actually cares for you. It could be that Guy 2 would love to simply have sex with you. Sex and caring are NOT the same.

I know you aren't looking for other people to make decisions for you ~ and that's a good thing. Just take my words of warning carefully. I'd stay away from both of them if I were you. Guy 2 would have to do something pretty darn special to make me reconsider.

Im nervous that it would ruin our friendships between us.

Well at first I loved guy 1, but now things have changed so much, to the point where things would never be the same again. It had nothing to do with the fact that I like guy 2 (his best friend).

And at this moment, they are both ignoring my messages. I sent them a message, and they didnt reply. Maybe it was the fact that I was talking to both of them, at the same time while they were hanging out together. I didnt know they were hanging out together.

Guy 2 cares about me, because weve talked, and whenever I was upset because guy 1 and I would get into a lot of agruments, I would talk to guy 2. And he said "Things happen, its okay." He wanted me to be happy, because he cheered me up. And he (guy 2) always makes me laugh. Im a last minute person, and he stayed awake talking to me, until he fell asleep because it was four in the morning. He encourages to do my homework, he says like; "You should be working." I find that adorable!

[Panda_Girl_17]

Originally Posted by George H.

Advice: Stop overthinking this. There is no love triangle. There is no relationship with guy 1. If you want a relationship with guy 2 then you need to discuss it with him. Really, he should be discussing it with you. If you think you will lose his friendship then don't pursue the romance. Believe me, he knows there is nothing between guy 1 and you.
Good luck

There is no relationship between guy 1 and I, but I do have a few feelings for him.

But guy 2 might not want to talk to me about our feelings, because he doesnt know I like him.

And theres nothing between guy 1 and I right now, but he knew that I did like guy 1. Thats why nothing happened between guy 2 and I.

[DespondentDaisy]

Panda Girl, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you: You have to forget about guy one. He clearly told you that he doesn't love you and will never date you. I don't think he even wants to be your friend. I would try not to interact with guy 1, it'll be good for the both of you. As for guy 2, I'd tentavely start dating him. Not exclusively, don't make any commitments. In fact, don't call it dating. Just explore it as a friendship. Tell him you want to get to know him more as a friend and see where it goes. You should've feel like you need to rush into any relationship if you don't want to. Taking things nice and slow is always the best. Good luck.