[pheonixrising]

Just found out for sure yesterday that the man Im living with joined a dating site and has been talking to other woman behind my back

Im so heartbroken Im scared of what I am going to do If I dont get to talk to someone and noone will answer there ding a ling phone ugh

[Tomjones]

Wow.

I can help you plot revenge

[Scotty204]

Originally Posted by pheonixrising

Just found out for sure yesterday that the man Im living with joined a dating site and has been talking to other woman behind my back

Im so heartbroken Im scared of what I am going to do If I dont get to talk to someone and noone will answer there ding a ling phone ugh

I can relate to this as I too was a victim of cheating. I was 19 and in a serious relationship with a girl for a year and a half then it started.....I seen the warning signs and had a gut feeling and sure enough I was right. It hurts but what can you do right?

[Gothgirl7]

Originally Posted by Scotty204

I can relate to this as I too was a victim of cheating. I was 19 and in a serious relationship with a girl for a year and a half then it started.....I seen the warning signs and had a gut feeling and sure enough I was right. It hurts but what can you do right?

Unfortunately me too. How about throwing his stuff out and changing the locks?

[Justme_55]

My ex did this; I set up a bunk profile & played coy with him set up a date, he wasn't very smart. Imagine his surprise when the tall hot redhead was me lol Karmas a b!

[Open Eyes]

((((pheonixrising))))),

Oh, I have been there and I remember how upset/angry I was. And it isn't worth looking for a way to punish him etc. Even though that does come with the anger.
I am very sorry, and try very hard to calm down and begin to consider what is good for YOU right now. Looking back on my situation, it really was all about "HIM" and his problems and it was not my fault at all or had anything to do with me not being good enough either. Sigh, you have to really try to calm down because honestly, this is all about HIS ego in need of a boost because he is not feeling good about himself somehow.

What I also learned is that it is a big lie beginning and then it will be all about HIS guilt and then they get mean at you for what isnt your fault at all. And to be honest, two wrongs don't make a right either so revenge is a waste of time. And yes that is very had to see when feeling betrayed.

Unfortunately he was not "all that" that you thought he was and hoped he was and tried to trust him to be either. So now you have to work on you and understand that your next move should be that "YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS" and what it really means is that now you are going to have to quietly figure out an exit strategy instead of focusing on the anger and desire for revenge or even to see what he is looking for in other women that you may not have somehow. DO NOT go there, it is not about you, remember that.

(((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

[Scotty204]

Originally Posted by Justme_55

My ex did this; I set up a bunk profile & played coy with him set up a date, he wasn't very smart. Imagine his surprise when the tall hot redhead was me lol Karmas a b!

Nice , in my case I had a close female friend who lived on my ex's street do a late night stakeout and sure enough I got the evidence I needed to be able to confront her. Boy did it hurt but life goes on. I blamed myself but I soon realized that "cheaters" only care about themselves and could care less about the people they hurt.

[pheonixrising]

Originally Posted by Gothgirl7

Unfortunately me too. How about throwing his stuff out and changing the locks?

Its his house ~ I moved 6 hours from home to be with him ~ moving back after only 6 months ~ ugh

[pheonixrising]

Originally Posted by Justme_55

My ex did this; I set up a bunk profile & played coy with him set up a date, he wasn't very smart. Imagine his surprise when the tall hot redhead was me lol Karmas a b!

lol good job hunny bunny!!!

[pheonixrising]

This is what I wrote to him last night ~ its a jumbled mess and theres so much more that could have been said but here it is ~ I bet he dont even read it !!!!

Well I wanted to put this as simple as possible.
November I move here.
I have to listen to you every day several times a day ~ Kelli Kelli Kelli… that would bother you I’m sure
Kurt’s wedding …
December
You bring up Kelli while you touch me.
You tell me to get the **** out for 3 days straight because of it.
You tell me you don’t take me anywhere because I am an embarrassment.
January
I try to be myself and let loose by listening to music I like on your computer, you make fun of the music. Still feel uneasy because of the 3 days of you being so cruel.
February
My mom is dying. You don’t believe me. You have family come and taunt me with you. While I needed someone the most during that time, I was all alone in the empty house. You ignored me. My phone broke and while she was dying there I had to ask you for your phone while feeling so betrayed by you. That was the worst time ever.
Valentine’s Day … You’re mad at me again. You don’t talk to me. You leave me alone in the house.
The day you’re supposed to show the one you love how much. You are mean and argumentative.
From all the hurt I had in me from December and how mean you were and how irritated you got with me every day over the littlest things ~ I can’t even explain it.
Yes with leaving my family for you. Being so far away from home. Having all these feelings of doubt because of how you treated me I felt I just couldn’t go on in life to deal with this heartache. To be hurt AGAIN. I did what I did.
I come home to see Zoosk app on your computer. I know for a fact you talked to another while you isolated me from any of my friends.
March
I want to talk to you about what I seen (Zoosk)
You don’t kiss me even more so now than before. You tell me in unattractive to you.
I try to pay my way here as much as I can. I try to keep you happy by cooking and cleaning for you.

So 6 months after I move here because you “love me” so much this is how you treat me. This is what I get for trusting you to be kind and loving.
If I try to talk to you about the hurt that’s still in me because of all the above. You get even more mean and hurtful.
So, I’m unattractive to you. You want someone else in your life because of things I did. Okay fine. Let’s figure out how and when I am going to leave. It’s not like I ever felt wanted enough to unpack.

[Cotton ball]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Been there as well...
I agree with Open.. Revenge is not worth it. It will accomplish nothing. You could put on your James Bond 007 cap and look for more but in my opinion you're going to find it. Sometimes looking down into the rabit hole is not worth it. Why subject yourself to that? It won't answer your questions or relieve the pain. You found out, you know he is cheating and lying...and obviousely hurting you emotionally. I wouldn't even give him the opportunity to explain himself or turn it around on you. It's about him not you. Take care of yourself and don't take it personally.
If you're living with him I would plan a silent escape as to avoid drama and give him the opportunity to turn things back on you.
Leave before it turns ugly and gets really twisted.
I know it hurts-betrayals of trust do. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and love yourself. It's hard to do...
Wishing you well.

[Scotty204]

This is the best option, just save up some money then plan your escape. He's taking advantage knowing you have no support system nearby...sounds like a control freak to me

[Kiddo88]

That is so sad BUT- you are above this. Don't get revenge. Take the high road. Revenge isn't worth it.