To all the single women on here,

I just wanted to get others opinions on this. I think i'm going to puke if I see another "how to snag a guy article". I read something on aol i think it was, yahoo has them too, on how us single women can "snag" a man. Oh now it's "snag", what happened to just using the word "meet". Why should women change their appearance or have to stoop to a man's level to gain his attention. There was this article on yahoo about "What single women hate to hear". It was pretty good actually. Personally, I'm tired of people saying to me "you have got to get out there and look". I have, and it's not like I sit home curled up in front of the tv, but there's not a whole lot to do in my area, unless you go downtown where of course the bars and clubs are. Forget those places to "meet" a man. I only go out maybe twice a month, if that, to see a "live" band I like. What I see is the same old thing. A group of men standing there looking, holding a drink, and not doing anything, reminds me of my high school days, you know, where that group of guys just hang out in the corner, well that's what these men were doing. What the article said was to be ourselves and someone will take notice. Do you all agree, or what do you guys do?

[salukigirl]

I totally agree. I hate that so many magazines/tv shows/movies make it seem like that's our main goal in life. Not careers or family or friends or education but landing a man to put a ring on our finger. What else bugs me is that I see a lot of people getting married and it seems like they're only doing it for the ring/wedding. I don't feel like they're doing it for the right reasons - just because they think that's what they should do now.

Also, today I was watching TV and saw a commercial come on for a show specifically geared towards "how to meet a husband". how awful! My current boyfriend I met because I was being my friends "wing woman" I guess lol. She wanted to go to a bar that a guy she was interested in was going to and his roommate was going to be there so I went to be the wing person and we ended up going out a few weeks later after talking and hanging out and now it's about 5 months later and we're happy.

He really likes that I don't follow all those things they tell you in magazines. Whenever he sees a girl trying to hard to look 'hot' it makes him do this disgusted face lol. He hates girls that read crap like that and aren't focused on anything but finding a guy. And he has asked me before if I was with him just because I eventually wanted the wedding and all that or if I was with him for him.

So I think to find yourself a man that will be a GOOD one...do the TOTAL OPPOSITE of what those articles tell you haha. They're just telling you how to play games. And, personally, I've been sick of that since I was 17 lol. Good luck with finding your balance!

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by Deborah35

To all the single women on here,

I just wanted to get others opinions on this. I think i'm going to puke if I see another "how to snag a guy article". I read something on aol i think it was, yahoo has them too, on how us single women can "snag" a man. Oh now it's "snag", what happened to just using the word "meet". Why should women change their appearance or have to stoop to a man's level to gain his attention. There was this article on yahoo about "What single women hate to hear". It was pretty good actually. Personally, I'm tired of people saying to me "you have got to get out there and look". I have, and it's not like I sit home curled up in front of the tv, but there's not a whole lot to do in my area, unless you go downtown where of course the bars and clubs are. Forget those places to "meet" a man. I only go out maybe twice a month, if that, to see a "live" band I like. What I see is the same old thing. A group of men standing there looking, holding a drink, and not doing anything, reminds me of my high school days, you know, where that group of guys just hang out in the corner, well that's what these men were doing. What the article said was to be ourselves and someone will take notice. Do you all agree, or what do you guys do?

You are right; the choice of words like "catching" or "snagging" a man rubs me the wrong way. Haven't we come a lot farther than that now that it's 2012 and not 1812? It used to be about getting married and having kids. That was supposed to be your goal.

I agree with what you said about being yourselves. I don't even read women's magazines anymore, because so much is about improving yourself, yet they say "Be yourself and accept yourself as you are." If you do that, you don't need to improve. You are okay the way you are! Also, there's a lot of stuff about getting a man and pleasing a man. "The 10 top things men want from you." So, what, you do these 10 things and everything will be peaches and cream???!!! HA!!

"All women are beautiful in their own way" they say, yet there will be an article about losing weight or looking younger. I read Allure, and it used to be unique in keeping the prospective about beauty being "inner". Now, they are getting more like traditional women's magazines.

[LadyShadow]

You know what. All that hype in those magazines are absolute bologna. I met my boyfriend on eHarmony because you know what I said to myself this bar scene and club scene is not the way to go and I approached it logically. It was the best choice for me at the time because they have an in-depth questionnaire so that you know you're serious to find someone, unlike these dating sites where you just throw a picture up with a few words.

I know you didn't post this to get online dating advice, but my point for mentioning that is because these magazines and tv shows gear women to have this "image" of something beautiful. Those magazines don't show what women really look like, they are just a fantasy. And another thing, what's the rush with the marriage? Who says you have to be married for things to be perfect? Where is that written.

My goal: get married when I'm 65 and I retire and I'm done living my life to the fullest and I just want to grow old with my partner after that. I'm completely serious too and my boyfriend knows this. No kids either. Just me and him.

Good luck to you. We make the rules. Not those magazines and tv.

Are you guys going through the archives to find these old posts?

[di meliora]

I suppose you might have to snag if you want to snog?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

who's looking at the archives??? that's funny!! thanks! LMAO here!thank you! great way to start my day!! Laughter!! How silly.....

Mayhaps the ads said that in 2009...today they got these weird things about porn and hairy horny men who keep e-mailing me....who are these hairy men? what is the matter with them...why do they have to e-mail me???

[Yoda]

I signed up on eharmony and completed the profile. They said there were no matches for me! Just as well.

[IceCreamKid]

I've been married. I like being single. I don't have the time to devote to a man right now. If I wanted a man, the last place I'd look for him would be in a bar. I don't see anything wrong with online dating or matchmaking services; but I also encourage people to look among the interests and hobbies they already have (any man I would want would have to be of my faith, charitable, like animals) and to be open to people who share the traits you hold dear; if you like city life, dating lumberjacks might not be the best match. Anyone who wants children could consider adopting or being a foster parent; anyone who wants a beautiful home could make one with or without a man. As far as looks go, I like to be pretty and well-dressed but I don't have the money for expensive clothes and I don't like high-maintenance stuff like dyed hair, gallons of makeup and fancy fingernails. The man who likes women who have those things isn't going to look twice at me and that's ok. So it's finding your natural balance, I think, not putting your life on hold because there is no man in it--and canceling subscriptions to those magazines!

[gma45]

HaHa Yoda, I did the same and there were no matches for me either in the entire US Maybe I need to go international! haha! Like you say....just as well! What do those mags know anyway?

Based on divorce statistics, I'd say snagging anything ... male or female ... is highly overrated ...

[LadyShadow]

I signed up for three months for eHarmony before I found anyone. I also had no matches when I signed up either. They trickle in as time goes by. You get new matches every day. That doesn't mean it will work for everyone but things take time and patience.

I was ready to terminate my membership when he found me, and when we matched and were communicating by e-mail I was getting impatient and wanted to start chatting right away. Well come to find out, he works in computers and coming home and chatting on the computer is the LAST thing he wanted to do since he stares at a computer screen all day long. So feeling defeated, I gave up and said "forget it, I don't want to inconvenience you" and ended my communication with him by never answering his last email. A month later, he contacted me and told me he installed the chat program for me because he wanted to talk with me and get to know me. SO... THAT MEANS.....my negative behavior almost cost me a relationship with a very wonderful and kind man that is going very well (almost 2 years) and I am enjoying every minute of!

You never know....unless you persist and try.....

[nicoleflynn]

I have been single for 7 years......been on all of the dating sites (some twice), did speed dating, singles dances, you name it. Nothing....not even a guy I would allow into my life for friendship ...I am 65.....I won't settle...I look fabulous and know I am a woman of quality, morals, etc......I had one date...believe it or not...he was an attorney.....we had water for dinner.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by George H.

Are you guys going through the archives to find these old posts?

Hey, any open thread is "fair game" to me! There are many ways to find threads you might want to reply to. You could use archives I guess, but you could also search by keyword. There are probably literally thousands of threads on here!

At the bottom of each thread are links for similar threads, usually. It used to just say "Similar threads", (But I don't see it now, and that was a LONG time ago that I noticed it)...but now it lists them individually. You'll find even more that way, too.

Also, click on any member's profile to see what threads he/she has started or where they posted. Might find something there that catches your eye. As you can see, posting in an old thread brings it out of obscurity, which usually brings in more replies! (Like what happened here)

[Seshat]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

You are right; the choice of words like "catching" or "snagging" a man rubs me the wrong way. Haven't we come a lot farther than that now that it's 2012 and not 1812? It used to be about getting married and having kids. That was supposed to be your goal..

My thoughts exactly.

Now, the thing with women magazines... I've only read 2 or 3 in my life but I've come to think that, for the most part, it's not about improving your life but becoming somebody else, some lifeless image that we're all supposed to look up to. I guess those magazines aren't harmful if you choose what kinds of articles are to be taken seriously (i.e. I liked the how-to-exercise-at-home kind of articles, for instance)... but yeah, I'd rather not read women magazines either.

[packleader2]

I totally agree; I have found "they are just not out there", as many would suggest. I've not done any net dating, and won't. btw...one word of advice...they are not here either!