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Old May 12, 2012, 08:44 PM
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jaypop30 jaypop30 is offline
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I am horrible at communication for half the time I don't know why I feel the way I do. Does anyone else feel this way? If so how did you over come it if you have?

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Old May 12, 2012, 08:52 PM
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tohelpafriend tohelpafriend is offline
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I guess some of that depends on verbal or written communication.
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Old May 12, 2012, 10:49 PM
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shezbut shezbut is offline
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jaypop30,

Communication is very difficult for me, especially "in the moment". What helps me now is to turn off music, tv (and anything else distracting), and push myself to share what's on my mind. I try to carefully word things, so it doesn't sound as though I'm attacking him/her. That technique has helped me a lot. Once I make it through the initial resistance to talk, it becomes easier for me to share.

Hope that works for you ~ best wishes!
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Old May 13, 2012, 09:12 PM
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jaypop30 jaypop30 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shezbut View Post
jaypop30,

Communication is very difficult for me, especially "in the moment". What helps me now is to turn off music, tv (and anything else distracting), and push myself to share what's on my mind. I try to carefully word things, so it doesn't sound as though I'm attacking him/her. That technique has helped me a lot. Once I make it through the initial resistance to talk, it becomes easier for me to share.

Hope that works for you ~ best wishes!
It takes alot out of me to talk. It almost feels as if the energy in my body gets drained. I have an extremly hard time expressing my feelings into words for half of the time I don't know why I am feeling a crtain way. So when my wife asks me why I have been acting a certain way or asks why i am feeling this way or that. I cannot responed to her for I don't even know why.
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Old May 13, 2012, 10:02 PM
morningstar72 morningstar72 is offline
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YES! I know exactly how that feels. I don't know why im like that but i wish I wasn't.
  #6  
Old May 13, 2012, 10:39 PM
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shezbut shezbut is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaypop30 View Post
It takes alot out of me to talk. It almost feels as if the energy in my body gets drained. I have an extremly hard time expressing my feelings into words for half of the time I don't know why I am feeling a crtain way. So when my wife asks me why I have been acting a certain way or asks why i am feeling this way or that. I cannot responed to her for I don't even know why.
I understand the difficulty with recognizing your emotions and then moving on to share those feelings with others. It does take a little bit of time and devotion to learn how you're feeling and how you can healthily work through these emotions.

You may want to try DBT classes. www.dbtselfhelp.com is a terrific source of helpful information, to refer to, like the following...
"If you are having trouble (identifying you emotions), try describing the qualities of your emotions. There are no right answers here. We are trying to get you to pay more close attention to your own emotions.

Some things interfere with observing and describing emotions. One of these things is secondary emotions. Secondary emotions are those that come after the original emotions For example, you might feel angry, and then you might feel shame for feeling angry. Or you might feel sad, and then feel angry about the sadness. This makes it harder to figure out what was your original emotion and to work on dealing with that. Ask yourself, "Was that my first feeling?

Some people also often feel ambivalence, or more than one emotion at the same time, like both anger and sadness when someone dies or goes away.

You will become more skilled at describing emotions as you practice. I suggest that you do this exercise several times (make some photocopies of the page) over the next couple of weeks. The more you practice, the better you will get at describing and observing your emotions. Don't feel discouraged if it doesn't come easily at first. Looking at emotions this way is changing patterns that a lot of us have been using most of our lives. There are no right answers. The idea is for you to get practice in observing and describing your emotions."


I highly recommend DBT, as it is very helpful on many different levels in different situations. Worth checking into.

Best wishes to you!
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars."
- Martin Luther King Jr.


"Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace."
- Author Unkown
Thanks for this!
jaypop30
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