[Tray_la_see]

Forgive me if I am being too profane however something that never even occurred to me could happen, happened today. I am female and have had heterosexual relationships my whole life and look what I have gone and done, fallen for a girl. This doesn't make sense, am I just being hypersexual? No. I know the answer to that. I actually have feelings for her. Seeing how I am a part of a large church community, this is not going to go over well with a lot of people. But if you care about someone and you want to be with them, why not? But can I truly do that? I don't know what to think anymore, all these things just seem to keep coming up and I feel like I have no control over any of it...

[bowhunt72]

I can't be a lot of help, since I have no direct experience with this. All I can do is bring up a few questions to think about. Do you know if your feelings are reciprocated? They could be anywhere from openly welcomed to considered repulsive depending on the individual's tastes and orientation. Is she also part of this church community? Is the church community open to same sex relationships? I was raised in a very strictly anti-homosexual church, but I have a college friend who is both an ordained minister and an open lesbian. Churches vary widely in their acceptance. No, you can't control who you have feelings for, but you can control the actions you take based on your feelings. I hope this helps you to find a little direction. Best of luck to you.

[Mike_J]

Bowhut72 brings up a good point, are your feeling reciprocated, if they aren’t you are setting yourself for heartache in any relationship (regardless of the genders involved).

Personally I don’t see how I could ever have “those” sorts of feelings about another man but if I did find myself in that situation I would hope that I wouldn’t just shut the door what could be a great relationship. But I would also hope that I would realize that this is a big lifestyle change, and has implications in all aspects of a person’s life, so don’t ignore your feelings but don’t let them run your life either.

Whatever you do, think it over first. And if the other person won’t/can’t reciprocate your feelings then move on quickly and quietly.

[faerie_moon_x]

I truly do believe that attraction is more than just one or the other, and people really do fall along more of a spectrum. Maybe you have had this in you but never realized it until meeting the right person.

I agree, though, make sure it is reciprocated first, especially since you say you are in a church group. Is she also in that group? Sometimes, even if it is a reciprocated feeling, people are embarassed by their own emotions and desires and repress them due to outside influences. While that is wrong and sad, it does happen. I say go cautiously.

I hope it works out for you.