[mona1989]

Alright so here we go.. I am 23 by the way but for the past 5 or 6 years ever since I started dating women (I have never dated men before, and was never interested) I would get into relationships, and things would be ok for a while but then I would stray and start messing with another female.
I would say I have had two serious relationships over the past 4 years. The first was a three year relationship which resulted in me cheating over and over again, and the second relationship which began July 2012 I am currently still in but not sure for how much longer.

So this is my question, why do I continue to cheat and hurt people who genuinely care about me? I have never been hurt in a relationship, no one has ever cheated on me.. well at least to my knowledge they haven't. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not meant for relationships?
I've been asking this question for a while now, all I've been doing was taking advantage of their kindness and love and in the end yes I feel embarrassed and upset of my actions.. but I'm afraid it keeps happening over and over again no matter what.

About my childhood... the reason why I am mentioning this, is because a lot of people say your childhood has a lot to do with how you turn out when you become an adult. Well I had a great childhood, my parents took good care of my younger sister and myself.. I would say, well society would probably say we were two spoiled children because we got about everything we asked for.
Now to the personal relationship between myself and my parents, I always got along more with my mother than my father. Till this day I still don't have the best relationship with him, as a child I always felt like he loved my sister more than he loved me. And at times it would show, he would punish me for speaking my mind on certain issues, but then if my sister would be a smart mouth she got by with it.
And there are several different instances where I felt like why would he hate or dislike his own child but then love the other.

I guess this is good for now, if you have any other questions please ask.

I hope I can get an answer because this has been going on for far too long. I need to figure out what I need to do so I can be a better person for people.

[Leed]

For many people it has to do with self-esteem. They feel they need to cheat, or end the relationship before the other partner does because they KNOW the relationship is going to end -- so they'll put an end to it first. They don't want to be the one who has to be cheated ON or has to be DUMPED. They know they'll be "let go" in the end. Many times this isn't even something they're aware of -- it's a sub-conscious type thing.

Therapy would be a good idea to get to the bottom of this, and perhaps work on your self-esteem IF that is part of the problem. It does sound like you have some issues with your Dad which could enter into it. It would be good to talk about that in therapy too.

I wish you the very best. Therapy has been GREAT for me -- I've been in and out of therapy most of my adult life and I'm so glad I did it. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[PsychGirl123]

I can only speak of what I know, but my thoughts, are that you're life was deeply affected by the lack of a relationship with your father. when you start to loose the feelings of love and acceptance you feel in 1 relationship, you seek it in another.

I've been in your shoes before and interestingly enough, most scenarios like this seem to all be the same. I hope this gives you some clarity. Therapy is the next step.

Originally Posted by mona1989

Alright so here we go.. I am 23 by the way but for the past 5 or 6 years ever since I started dating women (I have never dated men before, and was never interested) I would get into relationships, and things would be ok for a while but then I would stray and start messing with another female.
I would say I have had two serious relationships over the past 4 years. The first was a three year relationship which resulted in me cheating over and over again, and the second relationship which began July 2012 I am currently still in but not sure for how much longer.

So this is my question, why do I continue to cheat and hurt people who genuinely care about me? I have never been hurt in a relationship, no one has ever cheated on me.. well at least to my knowledge they haven't. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not meant for relationships?
I've been asking this question for a while now, all I've been doing was taking advantage of their kindness and love and in the end yes I feel embarrassed and upset of my actions.. but I'm afraid it keeps happening over and over again no matter what.

About my childhood... the reason why I am mentioning this, is because a lot of people say your childhood has a lot to do with how you turn out when you become an adult. Well I had a great childhood, my parents took good care of my younger sister and myself.. I would say, well society would probably say we were two spoiled children because we got about everything we asked for.
Now to the personal relationship between myself and my parents, I always got along more with my mother than my father. Till this day I still don't have the best relationship with him, as a child I always felt like he loved my sister more than he loved me. And at times it would show, he would punish me for speaking my mind on certain issues, but then if my sister would be a smart mouth she got by with it.
And there are several different instances where I felt like why would he hate or dislike his own child but then love the other.

I guess this is good for now, if you have any other questions please ask.

I hope I can get an answer because this has been going on for far too long. I need to figure out what I need to do so I can be a better person for people.

[IceCreamKid]

- I have never been hurt in a relationship, no one has ever cheated on me.
- all I've been doing was taking advantage of their kindness and love
- we were two spoiled children because we got about everything we asked for. - loved my sister more than he loved me.

I'm guessing, but what I have highlighted above is probably why. The last point might be a bit obscure. But if you hurt one of these women, you are somehow making yourself feel better because it hurt you that your sister was more favored than you were by dad.