Diet Sabotage

My husband is making me crazy. He say's things about how much weight I have gained and that I need to lose some and learn to control my weight. So I go twice a week to a special exercise class. What's happening is that he cooks for me when I come home from class. I've noticed that he makes really fattening foods. Last night I told him that I wanted my soup for dinner. All he needed to do was have it warming on the stove for me. I'm on a special high fiber, low fat diet. He called and asked where I was and I said that I was almost home. I get home and he ask me for some money to pick up the food. He comes back with a large pizza and a desert pie. How am I suppose to be on this diet when everytime I turn around he's sabotaging it? He tells me I'm fat then doesn't help me control my weight. When I get home I'm so tired that all I can do is shower, eat dinner and then go to sleep. I don't need this hugh meal right before I sleep. I don't know what to do. How do I tell him nicely that he sabotaging everything that I'm trying to do? Don't tell me I'm getting fat then feed me this junk. He also has to always have something sweet to eat. He'll make dinner and then brownie or cookies or something as long is he has a desert after dinner. I have gotten to the point I just don't eat the desert. Then he'll ask me if I don't like his cooking any more. I Love his food. And I Love that he takes the time to fix my food for me. The thing is he can really really cook very well, so I Love his food. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Just confussed about how to tell him to please make the diet I'm suppose to be on.

Monty

Would he be open to attending a dietitian appointment with you? Having someone else to reinforce the need for your new diet might lessen the uneasiness for you.

Is there a time you could discuss it with him when you aren't tired and hungry.

I hope he gets on board with your diet soon.

When I decided I needed to change my eating habits, my 12-y/o son was worried that I was anorexic. Far from it, but since I was eating such high calorie junk all the time and then switched to fiber/protein/good carbs and keeping a food diary, he took it as a sign of being obsessed with losing weight. Maybe your husband is having similar worries. He might even be worried that you'll become a different person when you're slimmer and healthier.


Good luck Monty.

I don't have any words of wisdom on how you should approach your husband with this. You will have to talk with him though. He is being so unfair, even if he does not realize it. Not supporting your diet is one thing but to tell you you are fat is quite another.
My husband has a large belly and he sabotages my own efforts at trying to help him eat well. He eats everything I pack in for him for the day but also visits a junk food joint at least twice a day. He doesn't do it on purpose. He loves his food and has such a high self esteem that his belly does not bother him. So it really does not matter to him one way or another.
I generally don't eat dinner, also being overweight, and am very fortunate that he has come to accept when I don't eat his cooking (he too can cook very well). But I hate it when he brings home take-aways or pizza or anything "forbidden". I am hard pressed to resist.

I hope you are able to sort it out with your husband. And I commend your efforts at trying to lose weight.

You made me think of something. I was anorexic when we met and for several years when we were first together. I've been in recovery for 11 years now. Maybe he's scared that I will fall back into the anorexia again??

Maybe I could get him to go to a dietitian with me. I think you are right that if he see's this diet is the best thing for my health he will be more willing to help me. And this diet wouldn't hurt him any either.

Maybe I could even buy some cookbooks with different types of foods that follow the diet. He likes to cook, so maybe he could get into cooking some new foods??

Thanks for the sparks of ideas
Monty

Yeah Sabrina, the "forbidden" foods that they seem to always bring in is so hard to so no to. He always has to have sweets, there is so much junk sitting around. I try and eat fruit instead of the cookies. But it's hard when it's sitting there looking up at you.

tell him to shut up about the weight if he is still going to be doing the cooking!! that is totally unfair and down right mean of him to do that.

Hi

This is a very common occurrence. People will always try to sabotage someone's else's healthy way of eating (or drinking!).

However, it's normally a minor irritation - except when the saboteur is the person cooking your meals.

You will have to list all the things you have written in your post - and simply show it your husband.

Your words come from the heart and he cannot ignore them.

All the other advice you have been given is excellent.

FG