[Eidhnean]

Hello everyone,

I don't know what to do! I want another baby so bad I can't see straight sometimes but I'm not in a situation to do so

I have a 2 year old boy is my absolute world!!! But I also have two step daughters. The youngest who is 4 is ok and I think things could be good with her but I have another step daughter who is 6 and I cant stand her. She is the reason I wont have another baby...that and finances of course right now and the fact that I am trying to get my career started but thoes things can be changed around. She cant unfortunately because the mother is not in the picture.

I don't know how to get rid of this yearning for another baby. I regret my life because I have been miserable every since I've been with my husband and am not where I want to be in life (Which I'm working on) but I'm not breaking up my son's family because of that kid so I don't know what to
do!! I cant get rid of her so I have no choice but to stay miserable and not have another baby

HELP!!

IVY

[Leed]

Why have you been miserable since you've been with your husband? Is it because of this child? You certainly can't blame HER. This poor child is the way she is because of her parents. She can't help it. She's had a tough life, with her parents breaking up. It's very difficult on a young child. If her mother 'isn't in the picture' can you imagine how she must feel? She probably feels that her mother didn't love her! That's a terrible feeling for a child, and she's going to act out because of it. This little girl needs counseling. You could help alot by giving her as much love and attention as possible. Right now, she probably feels very 'unloveable.'

I'm sorry you feel the way you do about this child because she desperately needs you. You could be the mother she doesn't have.

If there are other issues with your husband, you should try couples counseling before you even try to have another child.

I wish you the very best. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Trippin2.0]

She's 6y.o. No matter what she's said or done, 6! You can't blame her can you? You're an adult, please help the little girl. I'm sorry being married has made you miserable, but a baby CAN'T fix that. When s/he is 2y.o, you'll be less preoccupied again, and realize you're miserable again, then want another baby again. You HAVE a 2y.o, what's wrong with him? I sincerely hope the novelty hasn't worn off. Please seek some form of counselling, for you and your 6.yo, maybe your husband too if he's adding to your misery. I really think you could benefit from it. And PLEASE, do N0T have another baby until you actually want another baby, babies should be more than a 2yr long distraction.

[shezbut]

Ivy,

This post is so incredibly sad to me! What was your relationship like, with the daughters, before you had your son? There had to be some positives that you saw back then. Can you recall them? Part of your 6 y.o. behavior may simply be her age. 6 y.o. can be a little mouthy sometimes, and they certainly react to our emotions. So, if we're feeling hot-headed and emotional, they can really push our buttons. But, she isn't evil! She's an innocent little girl who needs to be shown love, acceptance, and structure. PLEASE?! Such a critical time in a child's life ~ please try to think about her life carefully.

I'd recommend doing the same thing with your 4 y.o. She'll be pushing buttons and testing limits in not too long herself, followed by your son.

I hope that you and your hub are able to work through the struggles that you're currently engaged in. Marriage with kids isn't as easy as tv shows make it look, is it? Please do see a T to help you gain a well-informed and realistic outlook of what's reasonable to expect from your children. That could be very helpful to you! Very best wishes to you and your family ~ you're in my thoughts!

This post is sad, I am imagining being this 6 year old girl and then growing up and feeling hatred towards my step-mum.

Why do you dislike her so much? What does your husband think? If I was your husband I would run a mile taking my kids with me as My kids come before anyone and this is cruelty, Sorry but this makes me feel bitter, Comes from my background and I am sorry if this offends anyone.

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbell.

Sorry but this makes me feel bitter, Comes from my background and I am sorry if this offends anyone.

This post was very challenging for me as well ~ triggering very sad and angry emotions that I've held all of my life towards my mom (for being so hateful towards my older sister). The same exact situation! It led to HUGE problems in our house for each one of us. As you can see, I'm still struggling (as is my sister). I have no sympathy towards my mom whatsoever, just resentment, hurt, and bitterness.

It ought to have a trigger icon on it. Sorry that you've shared a similar background as well. I tried hard not to come off hard on the poster, but I did want her to see how damaging her thoughts and behavior is. This was a real tough one for me!

Shez

[Trippin2.0]

I know you both, and I KN0W you'd never be mean to someone you don't know from a bar of soap, but it IS a very challenging thread, and I hope the OP doesn't feel offended. Maybe a M0D could add a trigger icon. My daughter was going thru a terrible time 2yrs ago, at the age of 6, and I guess in a sense I got triggered too, coz what does a 6y.o know about anything? We as parents do know tho, that little girl didn't ask to be here, but the OP has a choice, a say, in her life and marriage and I just find the post saddening, and maddening at the same time. Idk, maybe I shouldn't have responded, I have trouble with knowing when to keep my mouth shut tho

[Harley47]

Bless your heart...

I agree, I don't think a baby is the correct response to what you're feeling right now. I think you need to try to fix the issues with your family as it stands now, including your husband and especially the 6 year old, before you think of a baby.

Do forgive me, as I hope that doesn't sound harsh or judgmental. It's only my thoughts.