[Jan1212]

Hi everybody I have people constantly behind my back, be it my parents, my sister, my bf, (my classmates, my teachers to an extent)

I feel panicky at times, and almost always in a depressive mood nowadays because I can't keep up to their demands, I am not even close to being a perfectionist and don't assume I get straight A's I struggle with school, in other words, I get burnt out easier than most people I am seen as lazy. I need time off (with nothingness)for a while, and is that not normal? I'm in my 20s I don't work I'm with my parents, I am enrolled, but I am not in school because it's summer break, my parents ask if I'm looking for a job, my sister tells me to stop being a leech, my classmates are asking if I got interviews yet(because my school offers). My bf just told me to apply asap. I'm not used to this, I start to get hives, and moody, anxious and depressed.

What is wrong here?

If my scenario is not understandable, please reply, I need a lot of encouragement and reasssurance - nobody around me seem to care. If you went through a similar situation you can share how you overcame

Hi J1212. It does sound like things are piling up to the point where they're affecting you badly. I can't know why you're feeling why you do. But I can offer a little thought that might help you understand things in a different way.

It's quite normal to feel stressed about some things. People have stresses every day and cope for the most part but when they seem to pile up and pile up then you have to start thinking...am I the unluckiest person around to have ALL this crap happening to me?

and then think...this isn't normal for anyone to experience. Or at least it's pretty rare. Perhaps people don't get this wound up unless there's something else going on.

Jan I hear your voice in your words and you sound pretty upset. Is it unrealistic to think that whatever is going on that's making you more stressed, anxiety ridden, depressed etc could be coming from something else other than the severity of those problems? I'm not suggesting any dire life changing mental health problem at all. Don't worry about that.

I'm going sound like a cliche maybe but the first things that enter my head here is that #1 It hurts to see someone experiencing pain and I care as much as I can.
and #2 The suggestion that you might be able to speak to a family member[perhaps] or your bf, or family physician. The intent on doing that is to be able find the right people to talk over your concerns and thoughts. To talk with someone who can do some real work with you about these things and their effect on you. TalkTherapy?...antidep medications for awhile perhaps?...group therapies?...there are many options. The right people will know what might be best.

Can you think of any reason why this is a bad idea? I gather you haven't looked at this as an option. Nothing mentioned in your post anyway. You know...What I know about you from your post is little. That's fair to say. You COULD just be going through a temporary rough patch of time. A week/month year...it happens to people. I don't know you well enough to guage otherwise. But I would tell anyone...anytime...to talk with someone who ultimately has the knowledge to assess what you're feeling and go from there.

I'm sorry to go on with all that and mean no offense in any way if i'm not seeing where you're coming from. I was just caught by your post and needed to speak. I hope some things made sense. A little anyway. Take care with it all. I'll check back a bit later[hrs/day or so] to see if you've had something to say, ok? bye Jan1212.

[kaika]

I've been in this position for awhile now, and so have a lot of people my age (especially the ones with mental health problems) I wish I had some helpful advice to give, but I'm barely coping right now myself. Just know that you are not alone in this, and that there are people who care.

[Strange Attractor]

I was going to say much the same thing as Kaika. I know EXACTLY how you feel, but the pressures on me are coming from my in-laws and not my parents. I am in the process of moving continents from Europe back home to Canada so I am temporarily crashing at their place with my boyfriend until he is done with his education and we can move. It is only another couple of months but I am going mental. It is hard being surrounded by people so different than you, and people that just don't understand you. I can sympathize with you so very much, so yes, you're not alone I'm new here too and hoping to use this forum as a sort of "journal" so that I don't have to saddle my boyfriend with my problems with his parents every day when he gets home since I have no one else to talk to. Hope to see you around, good luck and stay strong! ~SA

[Jan1212]

Thank you for replying to my post I really do appreciate it, I am just sorry I haven't replied earlier - I have been stressing out which is somehow taking up so much of my time and life-it's sad. I've been away from home

The only person I am talking to about my feelings of anxiety and depression is my bf, but there is just so much I can bother him with. You're right, it just may be a temporary thing I'm hoping it will pass soon, I will try to reach out for others more, thanks quizzickle your post really helped me I smiled a bit when I read it

That is true kaika, sometimes we just need to be reminded and reassured that we're not alone. Moving is so stressful those are huge steps to be taking, SA, I can only hope to be as flexible as what you're going thru right now, I feel the same way about so many things and 'journaling' helps so much, thanks

[lido78]

Originally Posted by Jan1212

Hi everybody I have people constantly behind my back, be it my parents, my sister, my bf, (my classmates, my teachers to an extent)

I feel panicky at times, and almost always in a depressive mood nowadays because I can't keep up to their demands, I am not even close to being a perfectionist and don't assume I get straight A's I struggle with school, in other words, I get burnt out easier than most people I am seen as lazy. I need time off (with nothingness)for a while, and is that not normal? I'm in my 20s I don't work I'm with my parents, I am enrolled, but I am not in school because it's summer break, my parents ask if I'm looking for a job, my sister tells me to stop being a leech, my classmates are asking if I got interviews yet(because my school offers). My bf just told me to apply asap. I'm not used to this, I start to get hives, and moody, anxious and depressed.

What is wrong here?

If my scenario is not understandable, please reply, I need a lot of encouragement and reasssurance - nobody around me seem to care. If you went through a similar situation you can share how you overcame

I'm just curious about what is causing the stress...it sounds as if you are living at home for the summer but are not in summer school and are not working at this point? Is the stress coming from your family and friends who think you should get a job for the summer until you are back in school or is the stress about something else? Are they saying that you should be making money or just that you should be more active during your break? During my college breaks, I definitely worked at least part-time to make money to afford things during the summer like trips to the beach or new clothes, etc. but I realize that not all college kids work during their breaks...but, perhaps your parents just want to make sure that you're active. If they're not concerned that you make money during this time, would they back off a bit if you took up some kind of non-paying activity, like volunteer work? If you are staying at home a lot and sleeping or not being very active, they may be afraid that you are depressed...could you explain a bit more?

[Jan1212]

Thanks for asking about my situation lido78- it helps me clear up what I am really stressing out about. I live with my parents, today I just enrolled for an online class, and am not working (but looking). The cause of the stress is the process of getting a job I guess and I guess they want me to be active and make some money "to at least pay my gas"- (my dad said). I am also afraid that work is going to ruin my grades (like before) I can see a little from my parents point of view from your post I can understand why they do what they do.

[don't really need to read...]
I have a lot to say about my parents and sorry if it's offensive- they are never happy for me. I did volunteer work, then they asked me to earn money. I was earning money (from a previous min wage) but they asked me to work on weekends as well (which eventually conflicted with my final grades). They don't believe in mental issues just call me lazy basically, I really don't want to believe I am lazy, I feel that something (anxiousness) is preventing me from doing.. a lot of things. - then comes the diagnosis the insurance. the meds, but this would be a whole new topic I guess

[don't really need to read...]
I have worked part time during summers for the past few years, but it always ended in bad terms because I either wanted very few hours or I'd quit. and when I didn't quit, I failed a whole semester and don't want this to happen again. I may have gone all over the place - my life is very disorganized

[afterrain]

Why don't you look for a job where you can just work weekends. I know of some place that let college students work the weekends or just the days they don't have school. I think you should talk to your parents and let them know why you can't work a lot of hours. Maybe they might understand your reason of not working a lot of hours.

I hope things do work out for you. Good Luck