[Hellion]

What do you do when you simply cannot stay emotionally detatched from it anymore. I have been trying quite hard to remain neutral as possible and just stay out of any arguments or other drama...while trying to keep a civil relationship with everyone even my moms boyfriend who I really don't get along with but can still be civil with.

But there are these things called emotions, my mom and brother got in an argument last night yet again over my mom accusing my brother of doing 'nothing' and crticizing him for not having a life goal and a career at 18...and I am angry about some things my mom said I've just had it because I have seen for myself that he is trying to find work, he's talked to me about it being frustrating he hasn't found anything yet. then she gets on him about never doing anything, and he's already had 2 jobs he had to quit due to a messed up back she likes to ignore that he has. I mean she pretty much wants him to just be where she wants him to be in life because she didn't make it there.....well that is not his job. I just don't see how to be civil with her and keep from getting kicked out or something myself when I disagree with her treatment of my brother in almost every aspect.

Thing is if I openly disagree, then her supportive act towards me will be revoked and not sure I can handle the stress of having her as an obstacle rather than a supporter....it's just how she is, but I can't live my life trying to make her happy as its impossible to even make her that way. So do I stand up and say something or should I just continue trying to ignore it, stay perfectly civil and such till I find another living situation.......except then I get to miss all the cats I've gotten attatched to probably....its all just very frustrating I suppose. Maybe I should start reading up on how to deal with a narcissist, or something.

[BonnieG2010]

I'd say the second proposal: hold your peace and try moving out of the house as soon as possible.
You can tell your brother how much you think she is unfair and how much you believe in him and support him.
And maybe look for an apartment together. Why not? You will still have family with you, but the family you appreciate most

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by BonnieG2010

I'd say the second proposal: hold your peace and try moving out of the house as soon as possible.
You can tell your brother how much you think she is unfair and how much you believe in him and support him.
And maybe look for an apartment together. Why not? You will still have family with you, but the family you appreciate most

It might turn out that way, though for now he may be planning to move in with some friends and I can't say I blame him. I was pretty close to just packing up a bag and going homeless before my mom finally got off my back some when she realized the PTSD, anxiety and depression are serious but she shouldn't respect someones space out of pity and keep nagging and nagging at my brother just because he's not as screwed up as I am. I am pretty much waiting on SSI before I try and decide what to do, not sure even with that I'd be able to afford moving out.

And she wonders why my sister left home first chance she got even though it ended up being a disaster...to get away from her crap basically, now she gets along better with my mom but she doesn't live with her either.

[beauflow]

(((Hellion)))
I am sorry your mom is this way, it is really unfair...

So Your brother is 18 and he is suppose to just have it all together?

If he does move out with his friends, and you are the only one left at your mom's house, just a suggestion-- still keep looking into what is best for you..... Not saying to go homeless but keep looking for something that is best for you.

You mention that your mom to your brother:

he's already had 2 jobs he had to quit due to a messed up back she likes to ignore that he has.

Just maybe my worry here and I am sorry if it is but
Is it possible if she does not have him for a target, that she will "forget" about your PTSD and anxiety/depression issues and go back on to you about things?

Many hugs and well thoughts, I do Hope That Things work out the best for you and your brother and family.

[BonnieG2010]

You know it takes time to build things, to build up our dreams.
I would advise you to do that, rather than concentrating on your Mom's behavior.
Ask your brother to help you, ask anyone to give a hand to build your life up.
All the best