Just Confused!

Hi everyone!
I'm very confused about my relationship with my kids father. We have lived together for the last 4 years and have two kids together. We are not married but it feels like it. I have always supported him through everything. Even through the rough times. And I mean some rough times. But lately I have been feeling like I just don't want to do this any more. But, I haave never been on my own and with two kids it seems scary to me. But I feel like we have out grown each other. We really never had any thing in common, but our love for each other. Recently, his oldest son came to live with him and I just feel like he doesn't knowledge him like he should. I feel as though he is not compassionate enough to the situation or even loves his own son enough to make sure that his son get the tye of help that he needs. With that said, I just feel like I can't be with anyone who is not compassionate enough or even tries to be a good person. We have been arguing over it for about 3 months now and I am fed up. He is also paranoid tha I am cheating on him. I just got laid off from my job and he thinks that I am cheating! I am always in the house and I don't like to talk on the phone so it's a little hard for me to cheat, I would think. But I am at an lost. I don't know if I want to call it quits or what.

Faith2009,

I do understand how difficult times can be with S.O.'s ~ I have been on a similar road myself, with my ex-husband. But, I've got to warn you, things always become more complicated when we have kids. A LOT more complicated!

Rather than giving up out of frustration, and differing opinions on life, I encourage you to seek therapy with your boyfriend. Hopefully, you'll gain a better understanding of one another ~ and find the necessary determination to work through your troubles together, and become a stronger couple.

Maybe the two of you should also consider joini8ng a parenting group ~ so that you're both coming at things from the same perspective, and making things more secure for your children.

I wish you and your family the best!

I don't think anyone here can tell you what to do. It's a shame that the two of you had 2 children before you found out you didn't have anything in common. Now it's going to be hard for you to go out on your own without any support. But if you're fed up and don't want to do this anymore, what's the point? Of course it's going to be hard on the kids without their father -- kids ALWAYS get hurt when a family breaks up. They're the ones that suffer the most -- not the adults.

But you have to make the decision. Kids know when the parents aren't happy, and when the parents aren't happy the kids aren't happy either. So I guess it's better to be happy in a ONE parent household, then unhappy in a two parent household. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee