[pretty_me123]

I met the most amazing guy, or so I thought and we had an amazing connection. Our relationship was fairly new but things had been going great, we had great chemistry, great fun together and we intuitively understood each other. He was honest from the start telling me he was bi polar and was on meds for schizophrenia as well. It didn't bother me.

For weeks he had been planning to spend a particular day together hiking, we were going to do all these adventurous things that day and he kept telling me how excited he was about it. Well, the day came and everything was fine as we drove, he was sweet and affectionate as per usual until we got to the location and he decided to get high on marijuana.

As soon as the pot set in he started to act distant and paranoid. He kept saying we had "bad energy between us" and it made me really uncomfortable. Then out of no where he started to freak out and say he couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, he had sex with someone else, he was destined to be alone, he doesn't want to get married and is afraid to have kids etc. All of this came unprovoked. It was all so weird because it came out of the blue, I had never insinuated any of that because we had only been dating for over a month.

It seemed as though he was looking for any and every excuse in the book to break up with me, changing his reasons every 5 minutes. Then he started to act like he regretted what he said and asked if I could forget everything and just start over. He then offered to take me to lunch. Within 10 minutes he had changed his mind again and said he just needed alone time, because he had only been out of rehab for a few months. He started saying he's going to miss me a lot, it's hard because he really likes me as a person, he finds me attractive, I "get him" and I'm the best he's ever had in bed.

It was all so much insanity/contradiction to process within a short period it left me baffled. I had never experienced this side of him even though he warned me that he has issues and relies on his meds just to function. This only happened less than 24 hours ago and we haven't spoken since. I am a bit in shock and I don't know if he took his meds, or if he would have done this to me if he hadn't gotten high. He also said he couldn't be with me because of our religious backgrounds and couldn't see a future with me. I asked him why he didn't tell me sooner because he had actually talked about a future with me many times when things were good. He said he did see a future with me before but suddenly didn't.

This is the first time I've dealt with a person with a mental illness so I did not know what to expect, but somehow I feel awful because I'm taking everything he said to heart. I can't help but take it personal even though he kept reassuring me it's him, not me. I wonder if he will change his mind and come back? Or if I will just have to live with the fact he is gone forever. Either way it's killing me, as I do have feelings for him still and I didn't see it coming. It's triggering my depression and I don't know what to do

[Leed]

Hi ~ I have a feeling SOME of this was due to the fact he got high, but NOT ALL. Remember that he has a diagnosis of schizophrenia and Bi Polar. And it sounds like he is NOT stable at the moment.

I think it's good that this happened before you got too much time invested in this relationship. I know you have feelings for this guy, but unless you want your life filled with drama and heartache, I'd consider this over and go on with my life. You'd be better off not having any more contact with him, and if he does contact you again, just tell him it isn't going to work.

I wish you the best -- I'm sorry this happened. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[pretty_me123]

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi ~ I have a feeling SOME of this was due to the fact he got high, but NOT ALL. Remember that he has a diagnosis of schizophrenia and Bi Polar. And it sounds like he is NOT stable at the moment.

I think it's good that this happened before you got too much time invested in this relationship. I know you have feelings for this guy, but unless you want your life filled with drama and heartache, I'd consider this over and go on with my life. You'd be better off not having any more contact with him, and if he does contact you again, just tell him it isn't going to work.

I wish you the best -- I'm sorry this happened. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

Thanks for your response Lee! I understand what you are saying. Maybe in time I will realize that I'm better off without him, for now it still hurts.

[shezbut]

Sorry that you're in pain, pretty me123.

Romantic relationships can be so painful at times, and other times they feel wonderful!

For me, I never want to let go of those wonderful feelings & I get freaked out in the moments when I don't feel terrific with him. It has taken me a while to realize that those feelings are within me. I still haven't figured out how to accept me alone ~ but that's simply me.

My point is, I can understand. You have my sympathy, but I definitely agree with Lee. Hopefully, things will feel better for you soon. Try not to think about it too much ~ that never helps. You could use your experience as motivation to create artistically and release the pain that you feel inside. (I used to do that a lot, which did help me then.) Best wishes!

[Scotty204]

I agree with the above posters, it's better to let this guy go as it ain't worth the heartache and stress

[odoyle]

Using street drugs when you're on medication for a mental illness is a really bad idea. It's probably what triggered his episode in the first place.

You said that he had been honest with you from the start, about his diagnosis and his meds. Did he tell you about rehab, or what he went there for? Did you know he was using marijuana? Had you ever been with him when he was high before?

This has bad written all over it. Not because of the mental illness; that can be dealt with. But because he's also an addict, out of rehab and back to using street drugs. He's sabotaging his own recovery.

Just be careful, and make sure you protect your heart.

[pretty_me123]

Originally Posted by odoyle

Using street drugs when you're on medication for a mental illness is a really bad idea. It's probably what triggered his episode in the first place.

You said that he had been honest with you from the start, about his diagnosis and his meds. Did he tell you about rehab, or what he went there for? Did you know he was using marijuana? Had you ever been with him when he was high before?

This has bad written all over it. Not because of the mental illness; that can be dealt with. But because he's also an addict, out of rehab and back to using street drugs. He's sabotaging his own recovery.

Just be careful, and make sure you protect your heart.

Thanks Odoyle!

Yes he told me what he went to rehab for, cocaine. He was in rehab for almost 2 years. He has smoked pot around me before, very little and never got high like that. This time was really strange because he got really high and started talking about the flowers, struggled to balance while walking and being distant. He usually takes his meds around me but I'm not sure if he took them or not that day.

I'm just so heartbroken because he is actually so amazing, caring, affectionate, understanding, fun, sweet and kind . It's confusing. I'm at a loss for an answer as to whether he really wanted to hurt me or it's simply triggered by his illness/vices.

This has left me feeling very depressed and helpless.