[aiv713]

I'm in love with the most wonderful man, but like all we have our problems. We've been together 6 yrs. In the last 5 months I have started having anger problems related to PTSD from my mother. It doesn't matter what I do I feel it's not good enough for him. Even though he tells me I'm great. Last night we were talking about money and somehow we couldn't account for some money. So automatically I think he's mad at me and it's all my fault. For about a hour I just sat there and cried and told him I didn't know where it was and tried to account for all I had spent. Finally I went and took a hot shower and was able to calm down. He told me it was never my fault and he was never mad at me. Some times I just feel like I'm losing it. I have always felt like everything that is wrong is my fault and now it's manifesting itself at home towards him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[pretty_me123]

It's understandable, you are not alone in this. I think this happens to a lot of people. A lot of the time we blame ourselves when things don't go right. I sometimes feel the way you do, blaming myself for everything that goes wrong. Try not to be too hard on yourself. When you feel it coming on try to do the things that help you calm down. We think more clearly when we are calm. Maybe try to get your space as well when you start feeling uneasy and talk about things when you have had time to collect yourself before they blow up.

[aiv713]

Pretty Me Thank you. Last night was much better. We talked about the money and some other things that really upset me and I did well. I didn't get upset. We were able to sit there and talk about it and when he told me he wasn't mad I believed him and didn't get upset. This is a huge step! Yay me!

[Leed]

Sweetie, you have to remember that NO one is "at fault" 100% of the time. You can't possibly be to blame for everything.

I think we're all too hard on ourselves at times. But when it becomes a problem -- when we're always blaming ourselves for every single thing, then it's time we got some help. I know you said you have PTSD -- are you seeing a therapist for this? If not, please think about getting some help. You need to be talking to a therapist. You can't handle this alone. This is a serious problem -- one that was caused by someone ELSE and there are ways to cope with it.

Please see about getting some help, ok? WE all care about you. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[aiv713]

Thanks Lee,

Yes I'm in therapy now and working on my way to recovery. I've been feeling better and trying to not let the things that have bothered me for so long continue. It's hard and I know it will be a long process, but I'm finally ready for it.