How open are you?

How open are you guys when you meet someone? Do/did you tell him or her when you first meet, or do/did you wait? Do you find that people get turned off by it (my biggest fear)?

I ask because, first, I have gone on dates and we will get talking about our lives. A lot of stuff I have done (education-wise) was a result of my anxiety, but I always hesitate to tell a guy that because I'm scared he'll be turned off by me because of it. But how long I wait to tell and should I tell?

On the other hand, I know people who will tell a potential friend or significant other right off the bat that they have bipolar/depression/OCD. I have just heard acquaintances do this, but I don't know how that relationship went for them (ie. did the person "disappear" or did they not care).

I have never told a potential friend or significant other. What about you guys?

I guess I don't reveal too much too soon but after a few dates I will. I like to be honest with the guy and if they don't want to go any further with me, well so be it. I'm not stuck on impressing anyone too much so if they don't like me for whatever reason, well, someone else will.

Not sure if that answers your question?

I tell them sooner rather than later, but not TOO soon. The way I look at it - I want them to know other things about me first. Basic things. Before I jump in and say "I'm mentally ill!!!" So I don't tell on the first date or anything. But I don't want to leave it too long either. Because this is me, I am mentally ill. Best to tell them before you fall for them and vice versa. They have to know what they're getting themselves into. If they're gonna be in a relationship with me, it's gonna be apart of their lives too. Im my experience, most people say to me "I can handle it, I really like you" but then once they really see the symptoms do a runner. Everybody is different. Some people are more open than others.

I'm not sure it's really necessary, is it? I mean, do you always tell dates about any 'disease' you may or may not have? I think it's kinda personal, and unless you're in a committed relationship I don't really think it's any of their business -- unless you have/had a flare-up and he needs an explanation of an incident or something.

I don't see any need for it. Some people are scared off by things like that as they've heard "war stories" and they've severely uneducated about it. So don't say anything. Unless of course he's a Psychiatrist. LOL Hugs, Lee

My fiance told me about his illness and problems in his past pretty much from the get go and it didn't put me. If fact we started as friends, neither of us were looking for anything else but we fell for each other his mental health problems never phased me.

I was open in my past when meeting others. It may take the second or third date to get everything out there, but honestly honestly is the best policy . It does scare away some. But it also allows you to know who is more suitable for you, so you don't have any surprises when you're getting more serious. Luckily my aunt was with me the night I met my fiance. Well I wouldn't call it luck, she's a terrible person and did what she could that night to wreck my chances, but it played in my favor. I met my now fiance and that night she told him all about my abusive relationship I had gotten out of, my 1 year old baby, the abusive stepfathers and on top of all of that she told him I had dissociative identity disorder and possible schizophrenic. While I'm not schizo, he knew that by her telling me that, that she was kind of nuts herself. But I did tell him on date two about the DID, my daughter and my ex (since the ex and I were at the time going through a nasty divorce) and he says "I know, she already told me" so he still approached me after learning all of these things about me, but was open minded enough to get to know me before judging me and our relationship is absolutely wonderful in every way, he's so understanding and knew from the beginning that I had issues from my past, and that gave us a closer bond, being able to trust him because he was judgement free, and him not getting any surprises one day from me not telling him. And honestly, this is the love of my life. Not a day goes by where I don't feel blessed to have him, and he feels the same about me.

Not to mention here lately I told him my deepest secret about my past abuse, and he was so understanding. He was the first, therapist aside, person I ever told in my life about that abuse, and the only thing he was less than happy about (other than hearing of the abuse) was that I didn't tell him sooner. He was so caring and understanding. And now he's on my side in this and I feel like I have a real partner in life, something I've never had before.

Maybe some things are better to wait on, but I do think that if you have let's say Bipolar, that it should be brought up in the first few dates, to allow each of you the comfort and understanding and for you to know if they are that open minded and willing to work or try to understand.

I think you should tell in the first few dates of your problems. With my current fiance' we both have problems and we started off as friends/roommates. We spent a lot of time talking to each other about our problems, past relationships and past abuse. It really helped us in understanding each other. Now 6 yrs later we're still together, still fighting our past demons with each others help and still very much in love.

I hope it works out for you

You guys all give me hope! I am not one of those people who feels comfortable telling others about my problems. No one knows about my problems, except my parents and siblings. It makes me happy to know that there are people out there who look past my disorders.

I know it's hard but just remember you maybe a person with a disorder but that disorder is not who you are sending positive thoughts your way