I'm not sure why I'm posting this --- mostly for myself to look into I suppose. I miss being in a relationship; it has been nearly 6 years since I was a successful one. I have trouble meeting + talking to the opposite gender. I have a few kinks (similar to fetishes, except they're non-sexual to me) - it seems it's easier to talk about them on-line opposed to in person. I find that almost a barrier that's stopping me from meeting others. Maybe I shouldn't let it take over so much. Sometimes I feel like those thoughts are all that's on my mind and I want others to know so much, but I get too afraid. The fact that I haven't been in a relationship in so long is depressing/upsetting. I'm frustrated with myself and don't know what to do. I know when and if a chance comes my way, I need to speak up. I don't know what to do really. I feel like a failure in this category. I have a love/hate feeling towards being alone... sorry for being a frustrated whiner here. No sympathy, just putting my thoughts out there.

[Leed]

Have you thought about going into therapy to help you in this area? Maybe talking with one would help you. I've gotten alot of help thru therapy, and I'm sure you would too.

I too am quite unsure of myself and tend to be introverted and have trouble talking with new people and the opposite sex. I've always been this way, but I think therapy did help me with this, plus getting older surely helped. Now at my age, I don't care one way or the other, but at your age I surely did. And at your age was when I began therapy, so I think it would be good for you..

Why not give it a try? It can't hurt. I wish you the very best. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

How do I find a good therapist? I see a psychologist, but I don't feel like it's enough + I need to see someone more often than once a week. I need someone to talk to, whether it's a professional or not. Do I just go out there and say what's on my mind? I've never been good with that sort of thing.

I will look into it. Thank you very much for the encouraging words!

[Leed]

Have you TOLD your therapist that once a week isn't often enough? You should talk to him/her about that. Perhaps he could see you twice a week or more. But you have to tell him. Talk to him about it. I'm sure he can accomodate you.

Let us know, ok? I hope it works out for you. God bless. Hugs, Lee

PS -- keep posting here too, cause we'll ALWAYS listen!

[RomanSunburn]

Another option is to go to group therapy in addition to your individual therapy. That's what I'm doing now, and I kind of like it. Being in a group might also help you learn to open up and feel comfortable talking with others. It might be a big step, though, but worth thinking about.

Leed - No, I haven't. I think my T is way too booked to do more than one visit per week possibly. I guess it wouldn't hurt asking still. Thanks a lot. I love PC and all of the supportive people around.

Roman - That is an idea. I guess I really just don't know where to look for those sort of things. I definitely need to learn how to be more open/sociable. I'll keep it in mind and try to find something.

[RomanSunburn]

Ask your T about it next time you go. They should have some sort of ideas. I go through my county mental health services (which is also where I go for t, pdoc, and meds... one stop shop for me!). You could also look into NAMI. I know my local NAMI has a few support groups every week.

Good luck!