[cowgirlupla]

Last night my husand and i went out with another couple. Drank a lot and ended up in a strip club. My husband seemed way too interested in the dancers and then asked if he could see what my friends breast felt like. Well, he liked them.
Driving home she and I started making out........ not something i would normally do
and he was all over her
one thing led to another and he was having sex with her on our couch in our house.
What am I going to do? I love my husband and we have always said something like this isnt right.
He left today and seemed very heartbroken about what happened.
i dont want my marriage to end but i dont know if I can get over this

[Leed]

He left? What do you mean -- he moved out? Or is he just gone for the day or what?

He SHOULD feel bad for what happened. Is he nuts or something? If this kind of stuff is going to happen when he drinks, then he'd just better not drink anymore. Does he normally do weird stuff when he drinks? Cause if he does, then he might have a drinking problem.

I'm sure this DOES bother you, since this is a definite betrayal to your marriage vows. How dare he do that in your own home, while you're there!

I hope he feels awful and for a good long time. And YOU have some thinking to do. Can you trust him to be true the next time he drinks and you're not with him? And what about this "friend" of yours. What kind of friend is that? I sure wouldn't want HER around anymore!!!

Yes, you have some thinking to do sweetie. And he does too. He'd better not drink anymore, that's for sure. And he has a LOT of work to do to earn your trust back. I wish you the very best. Keep us posted, ok? And keep posting, It will help. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Confusedinomicon]

I dont think its all his fault. She also kissed and made out with her. She was also there and could have asked him to stop. He shouldnt have done this but she shouldnt have particupate at all either. I think both of you need to own up and take responsibility for what happened and duscuss it.

[afterrain]

I think you need to talk to your husband and honest on how you feel. Both of you did wrong. So I think you two should make roles on how to act when going out. Maybe by him do this will show you that he is sorry for hurting you. And at the same time, you have to work on trusting him again. (Because if you have your mind made up and not going to forgive him. There is no point on trying to make things better for the two of you.) Give him other chance.

Sounds like you were BOTH behaving badly that night. What was that all about? I definitely don't put any more blame on him than I do on you. What were you thinking? Why the out of control behavior? You BOTH screwed up and screwed around here. This is not normal marriage behavior, shows an entire lack of respect for your relationship together (both of you).

[Harley47]

It's not my place to judge whether what you two did was right or wrong or what or on the responsibility of it, but I think it is in the best interest of you both to reevaluate what your actions (speaking in the plural) led to, and what can be done so this does not happen again.

Alcohol lowers our inhibitions, making things we would normally never do seem acceptable or otherwise seem like good ideas (such as beer goggles). I don't think either of you were drinking responsibly, tbh.

As for you two, sit down with each other. Discuss how you feel about this honestly, and what needs to be done to bury this and ensure it never happens again.

[brokenandalone1234]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Sounds like you were BOTH behaving badly that night. What was that all about? I definitely don't put any more blame on him than I do on you. What were you thinking? Why the out of control behavior? You BOTH screwed up and screwed around here. This is not normal marriage behavior, shows an entire lack of respect for your relationship together (both of you).

Farmergirl You act like you have never done something bad after a night of drinking. You are acting like you have the right to judge only God has the right to judge this women. In today's world people get drunk and experiment. It is clear that she and her husband both are feeling bad about the whole thing no need to make her feel any worse. My advice to her is though if you know you do things out of character for you when you drink a lot. Try to set a limit for yourself and him. I have a two drink limit and I always stick to it. I can not say I have never experiment hell I am bisexual so I have done more than experiment. Also sitting down and talking to him about what is ok and not ok even when drinking will help. I am not judging you one bit just giving my advice.

[Harley47]

To be fair Broken, some of us have never drank all that much, or even at all. I myself am underage. Unless you've been there and done that (or, in my case, seen it over an over), it's easy to judge.

Originally Posted by brokenandalone1234

Farmergirl You act like you have never done something bad after a night of drinking. You are acting like you have the right to judge only God has the right to judge this women. In today's world people get drunk and experiment. It is clear that she and her husband both are feeling bad about the whole thing no need to make her feel any worse. My advice to her is though if you know you do things out of character for you when you drink a lot. Try to set a limit for yourself and him. I have a two drink limit and I always stick to it. I can not say I have never experiment hell I am bisexual so I have done more than experiment. Also sitting down and talking to him about what is ok and not ok even when drinking will help. I am not judging you one bit just giving my advice.

You are right. I have never done anything bad after a night of drinking. My husband and I would never behave that way toward each other as that would not be respectful of our commitment to each other. Yes, this is a couple that needs to get some things sorted out. I have no idea what those things might be to lead them to such disrespect for each other, whether under the influence or not, but clearly they need to sit down and talk this through, perhaps under the guidance of a therapist who can help them discover why they would turn to other people outside their marriage rather than to each other.

[notz]

Please tell me there are no children in your marriage.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

My heart goes out to you.

Granted you shouldnt have been kissing her but he never should have felt her breasts to begin with. And im sure he wouldnt have been happy with you sleeping with the male, where was her s/o when this was happening? Kissing her didnt necessarily start it as he was feeling her breast before hand. Did you consent to them going further?

If you want your marriage two work there are two very clear things that need to be done. You need to end your contact with this so called friend and both you and he need to stop drinking. You both betrayed your vows that night, and if you want the marriage to work you need to be sure it does not happen again.

[Koko2]

Originally Posted by cowgirlupla

Last night my husand and i went out with another couple. Drank a lot and ended up in a strip club. My husband seemed way too interested in the dancers and then asked if he could see what my friends breast felt like. Well, he liked them.
Driving home she and I started making out........ not something i would normally do

Who did your husband ask for permission to feel her breasts, you or her? Why were you making out with your friend, for your own sake or because your husband requested it?