please help me :(

Part 1
So I suffer from ocd since childhood.I am 17 now.Suddenly the typical symptoms of ocd turned into in a big fear of being homosexual/bisexual and I have ALL the symptoms of hocd,(mental checking,groinal responses,anxiety,depression)althought I've never been diagnosed with it cause I live in a small island and we don't have good therapists here.
Part 2
The thing with hocd started when I found that I was emotionally dependent to my old best friend(gir).Actually,my psychologist said so.Maybe it was a co-dependency because she suffer from depression.Anyways,now you will ask me...so?? many ppl can have unhealthy friendships.Why do u think that you are not straight? Maybe because of ocd? Well no.I red many articles about co-dependency towards a close friend and they were connected with a bit of homosexuality and I got really scared.I red about 2 married women that they were emotional dependent to each other and suddenly felt sexual attraction(!!!) it scared the s***t out of me! and I also red that a symptom of emotional dependency is, experiencing romantic or sexual feelings leading to fantasy about a person.No no I have never had sexual feelings for her nor for an other same sex person but it was like i was in a platonic love with her(maybe that's emotional dependency). I don't know what does "romantic"exactly mean in this case.That's how my hocd started.I had imaginary kisses with her(NOT GENUINE,compulsions) and most times I felt that I liked them but it was so scary and weird after all ((
.Anyway I am confused.Does that make me bisexual???!!!! Everyone who has emotional dependency toward his/her best same sex friend has homosexual tendencies? why do they say that? I am sexualy attracted only to boys...is it something wrong with me? please help!

No honey, it doesn't mean you're bisexual or homosexual. It just means that you're growing up and you're CURIOUS. This happens with ALL teenagers. You're no different than anyone else. So please stop worrying, and why not stop reading all that stuff too. You're just getting yourself all upset.

You don't need to be reading all that stuff. Just let yourself grow up naturally! When you mature, you'll know. But right now, you're just a NORMAL teenager with NORMAL curiosities!!! That's all it is. Okay? So stop worrying. There is NOTHING wrong with you, I promise.

All of us wondered the same thing. But we just waiting until we grew up, and then found that we were just normal. And some of us found we were either gay, bisexual or homosexual. And there's nothing wrong with that either! But chances are excellent that you're straight. So stop worrying about it, okay? God bless you! Hugs, Lee

thank u so much Lee you are tottaly right I think.but I still have homosexual dreams(when I go to sleep with a bad mood)and I don't really know their true meaning but I'll try to ignore them,shouldn't I?

evangeline95,

I can relate to your fear quite a bit. While I am an adult (41 y.o.), I do still carry a lot of tension and fear that I am homosexual/bisexual. I can't name 1 time when I was tempted to even try the other side, but I do become extremely tense when I notice that a girl is pretty. I automatically Q myself about my physical reaction to her beauty. If I weren't gay or "bi" doesn't that mean that I wouldn't feel this way??

I haven't ever had any dreams about women. I've met and known other gay women and men, never any temptation to "try it". Yet, I'm still paranoid. I can't explain it. Maybe that's the situation you find yourself in??

(((hugs)))

yes that's exactly the situation I am...When I say I dreams,I mean when I'm sleeping(let's say nightmares because I don't like them).