The Talk

I have put myself into a situation lately that I really dont want to discuss the details at this time because, honestly, I couldnt even begin to explain because of the broadness of feelings swirling in me.

I cried last night, harder then I have in a long time and I knew that I had to tell hubby that I needed some space. Of course he had questions. All I said is that I am going through something right now and that I needed space. I even told him I wanted to move out. He said that he didnt want me to move out and told me to take all the space I needed. I made it clear that I didnt want to be questioned about what I do when I leave the house and there may be times when I dont come home at all. (Weekends only cuz of the kids). I half expected him to tell me get out but he didnt. He said OK. It made me feel worse. But at least I know that I have told him something.

I am nauseous and I havent slept very well for the past few nights. I feel wreckless but dont want to stop. I hate that I cant be right. I am always doing something screwed up. This situation has nothing to do with my hubby. It's me and needs that I suppose are not being met. I am so torn.

Hey jmo, so sorry you are in the whirl. Changes within one effect changes within the other. I'm glad yer h is supportive of you taking some alone time to settle things down. Just remember, it doesn't have to be all or nothing..... maybe just knowing you have choices will relieve some of the pressure you feel. If you live near water: big water, that is moving, the energy near it will be fluid and healing and helpful for clearing thoughts. If you could even take yerself on a little picnic in a quiet spot, your place to get away, regularly and breath your own air.......

Jen I think every woman here feels the same way about needs not being met. if your hubby was understanding enough to tell you he would give you the space, have you considered or have you told him your needs are not being met? I really hope things work out for you hon. (((((U)))))

I just feel that you were very brave to talk with your husband whilst clearly not a very easy thing to do. I really admire you!

My thoughts are with you!!

I wish, that we could all get together and meet sometimes. It seems that so many of us women have so much in common that it is scary. I don't know your exact situation but have felt exactly as you have. I wish you the peace that you are searching for. ((((jmo))))

that is a wonderful idea. I know I have no friends irl and it would really be nice to have a women's bonding time

((( JMo )))

I feel for you but I also feel for your husband. I know that you're probably dealing with a lot of guilt already, so I'm not going to continue down that vein but hopefully he has his own support network for dealing with the emotions he's probably experiencing right now

Thanks for your comments. How come I know what I need to do but I just cant do it?

i agree with Lm0. i do hope that while you're looking for relief for your feelings, that you make an effort to know that he's got some support. i've been in that situation, of having someone telling me that they wanted space, and i'll never forget feeling so lost and alone...and conflicted.

i send you good vibes and hope all goes well for you. pat

While I support you in your efforts for self care, of course I wonder about how long you will need the space. I hope that it's a short period of time that you need to find yourself, and are able to bring the spouse in on what you need in the way of support. No one should have to leave their own home to find themselves, or their own space, imo. TC of yourself, ok?

I agree

((((((((((((jen)))))))))))))))))

i know this is a rough time. i was very young and there once.

can i ask you something? are you seeking space or looking for something?

i thought i was seeking space. uh uh, i was looking for something... i found out the hard way that what i was seeking wasn't at all what i needed.

it led to a very difficult time in my life. i don't hope that for you.

kd

(((((((((((((((jen)))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((Jen)))))))))))

(((((((((((((((( Jen ))))))))))))))))

Hello JMO, SPACE... there is no substatution for having it when you need it. A quiet time to work things out within your ownself. I admire that you had the courage to say that to H... Use the time to get intouch with yourself.
Take Good Care Of Yourself......

Thanks for your replies and I am sorry that it has taken me a while to post.

I dont know...It is space and time I suppose. I feel like I am missing something.

I love my husband with every fiber of my soul. I always have. From the first time I met him. I have never felt so horrible and torn then I am at this very moment. I sat there last night listening to my hubby tell me that his heart is breaking and that all the faith in me was tarnished and I had this sinking feeling in my stomach and I wanted to throw up. I dont want to make him feel this way. I wish I didnt feel this way. I hate this.

hon does he think you need this "space" because of another man?

yes. he does. there have been some developments in the last few days but dont really have time to post about them now because I am at work. will post later.

Thanks (((((((B)))))))