At a loss

Hi

This is the first time I have been on a site like this.... Not sure why I am here but I need to get a few things off my mind i guess..

I have always had bad relationships.. men who cheat and lie.. get other women pregnant and leave me for them but I still go for the same type ...

I recenlty found out the person I was seeing was in another relationship... 8 months of him telling me that it was over and he wanted me I found out it was all lies and confrunted him... its all over now

But he made me feel so bad for ending things... like I was being the difficult one... I dont trust my judgement anymore and I qustion ANYTHING men tell me..

There may be someone new but already im suspicious and I think its pushing him away

Just so lost

Im sorry to hear of your difficulties 0175 - i have no advice other than to maybe contact a therapist and see if you can work through these issues with them. Bad relationships are very damaging for our self esteem and cause trust issues etc so i think the sooner you receive support for this issue the better. Please update us - all the best.

0175,

It sounds like you have been through some rough times. I am sorry to hear about the bad relationships you've had. Perhaps you could look at this like an opportunity. When we as human beings go through difficult times, it can be an opportunity to dig deep and turn to those people and things in our life that have been good for us. This could be family, faith and prayer, and just taking care of yourself by eating in a healthy way, getting sleep and talking with somebody you can trust about your difficulties.

I also want you to know, as very difficult as this may seem right now that their are some good men on this earth. You might have to end up going to a good church or something like that to discover this.

Know of my prayers. Let us know how it goes.

Bananabrd77

There are some of us who seem to be attracted to the "bad boy" type of guy, who goes around the "woos" us while all the time he either has another girl or might even be married!! We're perfectly uniknowing of all this, and go into the relationship innocent of any knowledge of his shenanigans. Then somehow, we find out and our heart gets broken. Trouble is, we end up going into another of the SAME kind of relationship all over again! Jeez!

It doesn't make any sense, but alot of us do this, and we just don't see it coming and we don't seem to learn from the last time.

Therapy is needed to get out of this kind of cycle. That's the only way to teach us to quit falling into this continual trap. Hope this helps. I know alot of woman who could use therapy. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

Thank you for your thoughts and advice everyone.

I do agree Leed we sometimes just dont see it coming do we....

Being cheated on and lied to really does hurt. When I was cheated on by a girl and she got pregnant...it left me damaged and unwilling to trust for a very long time but I look at it as a learning curve. One thing I will say is that when you have a "feeling" that bad vibe then go with it and follow your instincts because I know I did and I was able to find out the truth which somewhat helped. Don't rush into serious relationships, hang back and play it safe afterall there is no rush

You're likely a very sweet person. Some people (men and women, both) are dishonest users and they'll take advantage of anyone and everyone they can. To top it off, they'll blame the people they victimize. Their opinion of you is worthless. I think you are right to be cautious at this stage of your new relationship. From now on you might want to go slowly, and allow people to earn your trust through demonstrated honesty. I wouldn't give a man my money, my time or my body too quickly, especially nowadays.