Not sure what to do anymore...

My ex-fiance just broke up with me about a month ago and he said he wanted a break. Ever since he broke up with me he is always texting me saying how he made a mistake and misses me and wishes he hadn't left.I think I would be a little more understanding but I'm just still angry and sad but mostly angry considering the wedding date was this saturday and all that money was blown..but it's at the point now where I wake up in the mornings with anywhere between 30 and 50 text messages about 20 missed calls ALL from him. and he always asks me why aren't you anwering me why are you ignoring me have you moved on are you with another guy...and all I do now is go to work go to school and come home nothing else..and he flips out and if i don't answeer him just assumes I"m with another guy and gets mad about it which makes me a little more madder considering we aren't even together.
I've told him plenty of times that he needed to back off that he called the break and he needed to just stop texting me so much and back off and let me be. I'm just at the point where I just really don't know what to do anymore..

I think your doing the right thing for the moment. Not speaking with him is good for now. What has happened to you has obviously been very traumatic and your recovery will take time. Why the hell did he break up with you only to regret it immediately after??? You have absolutely every reason to be angry with him after ruining your wedding. Did he get cold feet at the prospect of tying the knot? I don't know the full story so it's difficult to give more definitive advice. Sometimes people make mistakes and yes he could well have made a massive mistake for which he is now extremely sorry. Question is whether you are prepared to forgive him and consider reuniting or if this break up has extinguished the love completely. Obviously you have lost your trust of him and regaining that could take a long time. If you feel in your heart that you do not want to get back together with him then continue with no contact whatsoever as your course of action but if you feel that it is just anger and deep inside you do still love him then have a chat and see what he has to say. I must say that 30-50 text messages and 20 missed calls is somewhat obsessional and that in itself is a bit of a worry. Chin up. I am sure things will work out the way they are meant to be.

Thanks....he said it was cold feet but I'm not sure that was the whole story since he had started school about 2 weeks prior to it. It's hard to have absolutely no contact since we go to the same school and sometimes the same classes.

Sorry for asking but do you mean school, school or university/college?? If it's school I take it that your both very young. If this is the case then I would suggest just moving on and getting over it and putting it down to immaturity on his behalf. If this is meant to be it will be. Given that your are so young (by the sounds of it) just put it behind you and enjoy your freedom as a single girl. Trust me - there is no rush to become tied to one man. Go out, have fun, possibly date another guy and consider yourself lucky that you didn't marry at this stage in your life. As for him - I think he has a lot of growing up to do as evidenced by his actions - planning to get married, breaking up then wanting to make up and being obsessive about contacting you. He needs to work out what he wants and only time will sort that one out. So given that your both at the same school and sometimes in the same classes I can see that no contact is near to impossible. Just be polite, meet and greet a bit of small talk and that's it. Do not engage in heavy conversation at this stage. You both need time out to clear your heads. All the best.

I mean college....and thanks again.

"...it's at the point now where I wake up in the mornings with anywhere between 30 and 50 text messages about 20 missed calls ALL from him. and he always asks me why aren't you anwering me why are you ignoring me have you moved on are you with another guy.."

Holy cow!! 30-50 text messages AND 20 missed calls daily???! That's pretty excessive. And, believe me, that's an understatement!

I would advise you to seriously tell your ex-fiance to back off. Is he trying to scare the heck out of you?? Because that's what his behavior tells me ~ that he's trying to push you back into being with him. He called off the wedding (thank goodness!) and you are now going on with your life. If he truly wants to prove his love and commitment to you, then he should go to T and come up with healthy techniques to work through his anxieties.

Sadly, in this day and age, it is not uncommon for people to let their emotions take them too far. They let their intense emotions control their behavior, which is what this sounds like to me. And that scares me! I worry that your ex will be unable to hold himself back from reacting intensely if/when you were to date another. You shouldn't have to live under this dark cloud following you throughout the days and nights. Seriously!! If your ex refuses to back off, you just might need to get some professional assistance (from a court and/or police) to gain safety.

I hope that my response doesn't seem way out of the ballpark to you. It is sadly a reality that women really do need to take into account. (I refer to women, because men are generally much stronger than women. Women's attacks on men are therefore different.)

Thanks..I mean I've told him to calm down with the texting and calling that it was getting ridiculous. I did delete my FB(which I hate cause thats how I keep in touch with family) but he flipped out and asked about some guy I added or why I posted this or that..so I just deleted it to get rid of that stress so now it's just the phone and when I see him around campus. Although, my mother just informed me that he texted her wanting to talk..about what I really didn't ask..didn't wanna know.

Please seriously consider what I've said to you. Not to be a picture of doom & gloom (I hate that!), but to seriously protect yourself. Be cautious....Okay?

Gentle hugs sent your way...

Just take some time to clear your head and recover emotionally before running back to him. Don't be so quick to take back someone who literally ditched you.

Hi SCGirl4Life - i would seriously consider getting the authorities involved - now that he is contacting members of your family it suggests that he probably isn't going to back down. Do you want to resume the relationship? If not and you desire a clean break then you will need to tell him to stop contacting you completely - requesting that he calm down with messaging you etc. won't quite get the point in cross in my view. This man literally ditched you before a wedding - he didn't discuss his feelings, he just broke things off and then after a while bombarded you with messages and now won't stop - does this really sound like someone you would want to be married to? Just a thought...I hope your situation improves.

i believe my post will be quite useless huh... i agree with everyone here, i was just wondering if he's like that, why did he want a break in the first place? he obviously is freaking out because it seems to me that he needs you and he realised that after experiencing losing you - unfortunately, i know a lot of people only recgonize the value of something in their lives after not having it anymore. but i dont understand how could he do that in the first place you know? if he was scared because of getting married, he could have tried talking to you, he really made a huge gigantic mistake.