[jamesH]

ive known the girl im with now for years but only now have i gotten intimate with her. i was expecting to come back and have some kind of one night stand situation with her, ive been gone for 2 years. thats how it started, i made out with her and expected to just get what i wanted sexually from her.

the other day she came over basically all day and we ended up in a potential sex situation and i dont know what happened but it felt like my heart was gonna stop cuz i had this like frenzied anxiety all of a sudden. it was performance related, in that i would fail and she would know i was a failure and then i couldnt go to prom and to the beach this weekend.

well last night the anxiety was gone and i realized that i was actually liking being with her and just touching her was very arousing but the point is i liked just being there.

today though is what im concerned with. it was like i woke up depressed and then was happy for a few hours and then got depressed again and now i just feel afraid and fearful but i dont even know of what. i have the feeling that nothing is good enough, ever. this girl is beautiful and she laughs at what i say and i like being close with her but at the same time that all scares the hell out of me. generally, its a feeling of no control and of powerlessness.

maybe i have a depression problem or something?

[Rhapsody]

WOW!!! - what you just described is a very normal feeling for a guy to have when he feels that he is no longer in control of him self or his of feelings.... most males need a sense of power with their surroundings to feel secure.

Now, what I do have to ask is have you ever been depressed before, ever had a Dx by a doctor or taken meds for it? If yes, then you are probably having an unresolved feelings/event from your past resonated with in you while you are with this girl (for whatever reason) and now your job is to locate the source so that you can start the HEALING of it.

BTW - why not just try being friends with this girl for a while and see how intimate the heart can grow from bonding out side of the bedroom.... (and) most females do not and will not judge a guy upon his performance in the bed, but they will appreciate the time and touch you are willing to give to them during this time, they feel CHERISHED that you took the time to care about their needs.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -