[and_im_still_here]

Ok im going to let it out...
For the past years ive been having this feeling but lately like 2 months or so its been deeper and more alive...
im in love with my cousin, nobody knows exept him we both are in love with each other and we have talked about it but we dont plan in having an open relationship, i would so love to and i have this crazy feeling it can work out since we are not cousins cousins, his dad and my mom are only half brothers so what can i do here... It really is annoying me i need to figure something here... Can somebody tell me something.

[kyouma]

i don't think i can give any useful advice, but i'm sure someone will reply soon and for now i'm sending you my support

[Leed]

If you choose to have children, there could STILL be some serious issues here with birth defects. I would be very very careful with this, plus I would see if this was even LEGAL in your state. It might not be.

Plus I would get some genetic counseling before having children. You OWE it to the children you MAY have. Why subject some poor baby to a life of hell with birth defects? It is morally WRONG so you must make sure that you do see a genetic counselor.

Personally, I would NOT risk it, and would end this relationship. It is just not work the risk. You can't just think of yourself -- you MUST think of the children that you may have. It's not just about YOU. And you CAN'T say that you won't have chldren -- things happen as we all know.

Best of luck. Hugs, Lee

[Harley47]

Hey there.

My first question would be what relation is he to you (ie first or second or whathaveyou). You do need to check with state laws...in my immediate knowledge, Alabama is the only state in which first cousin marriages are legally recognized. Second cousin marriages are spotty in regards to where they're legal...I know they're legal in NC.

I do think Leed gave good advice in seeking genetic counseling if you two were to take it to a higher level, so to speak. Children produced from closely related parents run a significant (one of my textbook has numerical statistics...I'll post it when I find it, if you would like) risk of a wide arrange of birth defects, many of which are debilitating. I wouldn't want that for your child or for either of you.

I won't say what is right or wrong between the two of you, as that is not my place. But you certainly need to look at legalities, and I do hope you will follow Leed's advice.

Take care, and I wish you my best.

Hugs,
Harley

[Jan1212]

How old are you? While growing up, we can "mix up" our feelings on what exactly is love, maybe you just feel a common bond with your cousin. Would it be considered infatuation instead? How are you doing overall with your peers? Do you socialize outside of home as well?

[and_im_still_here]

Originally Posted by Jan1212

How old are you? While growing up, we can "mix up" our feelings on what exactly is love, maybe you just feel a common bond with your cousin. Would it be considered infatuation instead? How are you doing overall with your peers? Do you socialize outside of home as well?

Im 18 years old and i dont think its infatuation since its been quite some time with this feeling.. I have no friends friends and do not bond with people as much, unless its necessary as for social life well not so good...

[and_im_still_here]

Exactly i would love to know what relation we are but all i know is his dad and my mom are half brothers so are we like half cousins or something??

[Jan1212]

Somebody would ask for the specifics (whos the step-parent etc) but I would consider he's still your family. I'm not into making judgments as people are different depending on parts of the world. I am also curious as to where you live and is that what your family have told you?

Okay so if I say your grandma have a son and a daughter with 2 different men, the offspring are considered half-siblings. Which is the case with you. If your mom (who has your grandma's bloodline) had you with a different man, they had you. If his dad(with your gradma's bloodline) married a woman and had him, he has your common grandma's bloodline.

You are half-cousins, blood related.

[and_im_still_here]

I am from mexico and he is from the US cali, and my family doesnt know we like each other, i dont think they think its ok..

Hi and im still here - If you don't intend on having an open relationship im assuming that you are both concerned that your friends/families/etc will disapprove. If you can't express your love openly i don't see the point in pursuing a 'secret' relationship - this will only cause more strain and tension and should you not be able to legally marry you will only feel worse for having got to know each other so well. I would certainly seek counselling for these feelings - you need support for whatever action you might take. Will your family disown you if they find out? Will you be forced to move out? These are all outcomes i would take into consideration. Whatever you decide to do please be sure of what you both feel for each other - if you do make your love known and the reaction is less than positive there will be no going back...