[stormyrose]

I'm new to this. I'm 13 and I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Obesessive-Compulsive Disorder, General Axiety Disorder and ADHD. I also have a bad relationship with my family and I can't take it anymore.

My biological father molested me for 5 years and I can't stand the thought. It happened from the time I was born until I turned 5 and it's became very hard to deal with in the last couple months even though I went completely indifferent about it for 7 years. I'm getting flashbacks and I feel guilty and ashamed. He swears he never did it and I feel pressured and guilted by him into seeing him in therapy even though I haven't for a while.

My sister hates me. She never stops calling me retarded, stupid, annoying, mentally ill, freak and unstable and then she takes it back but I still feel hurt.

My mother's boyfriend is just ignorant.

I have a pretty good relationship with my mom but I usually end up screwing that up too.

We're starting family therapy this saturday and I'm really scared.
I can't even really talk to my therapist, she doesn't really listen and just throws in her own little two cents about me and tries to tell me how I feel. She mentioned puting me in a group home.

My mom (sometimes) and one friend are the only people I really feel comfortable talking with.

[Leed]

Hi sweetie --First, did you tell your Mom that your Dad molested you? If you didn't you HAVE to. And you should NOT feel guilty because it was NOT your fault! How could it be? You did NOTHING to cause it -- you were just a tiny child!!! You couldn't stop him -- he was too big and you were too small! You must tell your Mom -- and don't let her say that you're just "making it up" -- make sure she believes you!!! And stop feeling guilty honey. You didn't do anything to cause it.

If your therapist won't listen to you, say "PLEASE LISTEN!!!" This is how I feel !!! And if she keeps talking, keep saying "PLEASE LISTEN!" Don't stop until she shuts up and REALLY listens to you!!! Some therapists just like to hear themselves talk. And don't let her tell YOU how YOU feel. YOU know how you feel.

Tell your Mom you don't WANT to go into a group home - if that's how you feel. Since you and Mom have a pretty good relationship, she should listen to you, right?

And if sister continues to badger you, talk to Mom about it. She shouldn't be saying those rotten things to you. Those are hurtful things, and she's being a brat. You can tell Mom I said so too!

Best of luck honey and let us know how you're doing from time to tome, ok? God bless. Hugs, Lee

I agree with Leed - in order for things to change you need to find a way to speak up, your mother must know of what happened with your father, tell her that you're not interested in whether or not she believes you - it is the truth whether she likes it or not. I think its important that you explain to your therapist that only you know how you feel and you are happy to explain if you know you are going to be taken seriously and listened too - otherwise whats the point? I think therapy will be a good oppertunity for you to explore how you and your family members relate to each other. As for your sister, as soon as she starts her torrent of verbal diarrhoea i would state calmly but firmly that you are going to disengage with her now because unless she can speak kindly to you you're not interested in what she has to say. From there leave the room and focus on you and what you want to do.

In terms of your diagnosis - that is a lot to deal with at such a young age. Im suprised you've been diagnosed as borderline, i have the condition myself and was told you cannot be diagnosed until you are an adult. Im not saying your diagnosis is wrong but i would make sure they are dealing with the symptoms you experience regardless of what they're grouped together and called. Really give therapy all you've got - if the situation from there doesn't improve at least you would have given it your best. Would going into a group home really be such a bad idea? Get as much information on treatment options as you can - will you be given frequent, good quality therapy at this group home? If things at home continue to deteriorate perhaps having a break from the situation and focusing on you is the best option. Remember, you cannot change your family but you can change how you react to them and improve your chances of getting the most out of life. Whatever happens i wish you the best. Good luck.