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Old Oct 05, 2012, 02:34 AM
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Anyone have songs/stories/poems/movies/abstract-native-American-rituals/etc. that have gotten them through breakups? I MISS my stupid lovely cuddly ex. So... yes, help.

Edit: Sorry if this sounds like a ... cry for help from a drama-queen or something. I'm just ... really unsure of how togo ahead from this, and my head is in a terrible place. I'm really looking for a way to deal with it without actually dealing with it.
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Break-up rituals?

Last edited by whatbeanbelieved; Oct 05, 2012 at 04:08 AM.

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  #2  
Old Oct 05, 2012, 04:19 AM
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Leed Leed is offline
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You're going to think I'm insane, but there's a song by Barry Manilow (yes, I love the man) called "If I Should Love Again" and it says exactly what I would feel if I were breaking up with someone. In fact, when my husband died, I played that song continually.

So maybe it will give you some idea -- I dont know if it's what you're looking for, but you might give it a listen. Good luck! Hugs, Lee
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  #3  
Old Oct 06, 2012, 01:05 AM
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Leed, THANK you. That is precisely the kind of, er, slightly whiny and fuzzy romantic thing I wanted...

anyone else?
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Old Oct 06, 2012, 02:39 AM
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Harley47 Harley47 is offline
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Well, when I broke up with my ex, I (very calmly, I might add) took her Christmas present I was going to give her to a buddy's house. I then proceeded to place thirty rounds of 7.62x39 full metal jacket rounds through the blasted (pun unintended) thing and called it a day. That worked for me, though I'd perhaps not go so far as to recommend it, per se.

To be fair, that was a rather extreme case given the circumstances under which we broke up, and she isn't aware of it (angry and hurt as I was that I had fallen in love with a lie, it would've been petty to rub it in). So...lol just for the record.

In my more run-of-the-mill break ups, there's a few songs I usually cycle through on my iPod that remind me of various things, be it acknowledging the hurt or reminding myself I'll get past it. I find Snuff by Slipknot to be rather appropriate for my last break up (though a few of the lines and motifs don't really apply, but hey. I can't fault them for not tailoring it to me, now can I?). It's a very gloomy song, but it fit well. Still does to an extent. My other little ritual is to engross myself in some sort of work. For my recent one, it was my summer job and a hefty series of improvements to one of my rifles (in this case, the aforementioned one). It helps me keep my mind off things.

Anyway, my rambling aside, that's me. I hope you'll feel better soon, and know you're in my prayers.

Hugs,
Harley

PS: Also, just for the record, LOVE the signature.
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Old Oct 06, 2012, 09:23 AM
SidOHara1 SidOHara1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatbeanbelieved View Post
Anyone have songs/stories/poems/movies/abstract-native-American-rituals/etc. that have gotten them through breakups? I MISS my stupid lovely cuddly ex. So... yes, help.

Edit: Sorry if this sounds like a ... cry for help from a drama-queen or something. I'm just ... really unsure of how togo ahead from this, and my head is in a terrible place. I'm really looking for a way to deal with it without actually dealing with it.


For me it depends on what sorta mood I am in... If I am sad, I listen to the "Feeds the Animals" album by Girl Talk, but if I'm raging angry, I listen to "I Love You" by Black Flag... Even though the lyrics don't apply to me at all...
And just about any song that would make you feel better if you were to walk past her right now.

If this doesn't make sense I can elaborate for you.
-CJ

p.s. yes... I also love your signature.
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Old Oct 06, 2012, 12:51 PM
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Thanks guys. I'm enjoying Snuff (Slipknot) and though I Love You (Black Flag) is more screamy than my somewhat girlier tastes, I think it captures a lot of very pure unadulterated rage and that's pretty awesome.

The crisis of my stupid breakup is that it's amicable. So there's no room for rage, just... sorrow, remorse, misery and other fun things that don't involve any impulses to break and/or shoot things. >_>;

Instead there is terrible poetry: http://redteamug.blogspot.com/

But yes, my signature is pretty awesome. Nothin' like a fabulous llama.

THANKS GUYS. *HUGS*

Anyone else who has thoughts is welcome to toss them in!
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Old Oct 06, 2012, 02:29 PM
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I used to listen to my old angry punk records, or a song or two by Bauhaus.. then am showing my age.
The other thing I do, is allow myself just one really really miserable night, thinking about them. Then get a bottle of champagne, drink it all myself, and burn photo's! Not as drastic the last bit as may seem, coz I always had the negs, lol.

I hope you feel better soon - and be kind to you. Its always hard.

ps - I like the present shooting!
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Old Oct 06, 2012, 03:47 PM
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whatbeanbelieved whatbeanbelieved is offline
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Like a boyfriend bonfire, a la Friends? XD I loved that episode - minus the fire (but I won't say no to firefighters >_<).
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Old Oct 06, 2012, 04:43 PM
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Harley47 Harley47 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by riotgrrrl View Post
I used to listen to my old angry punk records, or a song or two by Bauhaus.. then am showing my age.
The other thing I do, is allow myself just one really really miserable night, thinking about them. Then get a bottle of champagne, drink it all myself, and burn photo's! Not as drastic the last bit as may seem, coz I always had the negs, lol.

I hope you feel better soon - and be kind to you. Its always hard.

ps - I like the present shooting!
lol Thank you...the story of how it came about is just as good. I was telling my best friend about the whole break up, and how I felt. I mentioned that her stupid present, still sitting there in the shipping box all ready to go, was a huge trigger. He agreed, lamented with me, and we moved on. Later in the conversation I made a few comments about my rifle, a few improvements I was going to make, and that we needed to go shooting.

lol Following that comment, we were silent for a few moments...I think it hit us both at the same time. He chirped up with "So...whatcha doin' next week?" with a rather obvious undertone. lol Fastforward a week and I'm blowing that little thing to smithereens.

I'm glad you liked Snuff, Believed. It helped me. The End of Me by Apocalyptica is another really good one. I'd suggest it to you.
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  #10  
Old Oct 08, 2012, 07:50 AM
SidOHara1 SidOHara1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatbeanbelieved View Post
Thanks guys. I'm enjoying Snuff (Slipknot) and though I Love You (Black Flag) is more screamy than my somewhat girlier tastes, I think it captures a lot of very pure unadulterated rage and that's pretty awesome.

The crisis of my stupid breakup is that it's amicable. So there's no room for rage, just... sorrow, remorse, misery and other fun things that don't involve any impulses to break and/or shoot things. >_>;
I understand that there may be no room for rage, but if you are like me (which may be doubtful) you don't want that rage building up and eventually causing you to explode on someone... It would just be bad news for your friends, the ex, and anyone else involved, ya know?
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  #11  
Old Oct 09, 2012, 06:49 AM
anonymous82113
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Originally Posted by Harley47 View Post
lol Following that comment, we were silent for a few moments...I think it hit us both at the same time. He chirped up with "So...whatcha doin' next week?" with a rather obvious undertone. lol Fastforward a week and I'm blowing that little thing to smithereens.
Ace! I love moments like that - grins :-)
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  #12  
Old Oct 09, 2012, 08:44 AM
Anonymous32511
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I had an on/off relationship with my fiance for years before we got engaged - my breakup routine was always; restricting what i ate, exercising like mad and blowing huge amounts of money on hair appointments, clothes etc etc All ridiculous and uneccessary but nonetheless the only way i felt i could deal with it at the time. I hope you find ways that are less unhealthy and expensive.
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  #13  
Old Oct 10, 2012, 02:53 PM
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My breakup is also in a really messy state right now, where it's not like we are broken up - but we did break up - but we're thinking about it? So there's this huge state of limbo and I'm feeling really... depleted and exhausted. I'm just so wholly tired. We had spoken last Monday and things had been so warm and comfortable; but there was something he'd said that had bothered me. So I wanted to clarify that? And I called him today, and it was... a really, really ... difficult conversation. Sometimes there's hope and affection, and sometime there is the complete and utter absence of it. I just ... really want to be seen for my intentions at this point. Except I am seen for ... well, my actions, which is fair - the panic attacks and the rages primarily Maybe it IS too much to ask for someone to deal with it? Maybe I'm just being really stupid and selfish and this is bad for him AND me. I'm just... tired.
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