[kris0220]

Hello everyone. I am having a really rough time with my relationship. I am trying to get over my past relationship and don't trust very well. Actually I do not knokw if I trust anyone right now. My boyfriend knows this and knows I do not know how I feel about him, completely. I love him but feel like I need time on my own to find myself. The easiest thing for me to do right now is to just shut down. I do not want to feel anything because my feelings are so messed up... I feel lost, broken and confused. I am open with my bf but still feel like he could do better than I can give him right now. He does not want to leave me. The simple fact is I really don't want to feel anything now. As soon as I open up the littlest thing will send me right back into the darkness inside me. I don't know if anyone can relate or understand what I am trying to say...... I don't want to hurt anyone and am afraid I will do that if I try to open up. any advice??? Have a great day everyone!!!

[Scotty204]

It sounds like you may have got into a relationship without fully recovering from the previous one. Just be honest and explain that you want to take things slow and that you are still recovering emotionally. You owe it to your current BF to be honest especially if you're holding back feelings.

The thing is feelings are unavoidable - its best not to try and dodge them or over-expose yourself but instead find a way of working through them. Are you in therapy? If not do you think you would find it beneficial? Perhaps a support group might be able to help you feel less alone and provide another platform in which you can freely discuss how you feel and work on developing some coping strategies. As for your relationship, if you don't feel ready to be in one right now thats perfectly fine - don't stick with it because you'll feel bad about yourself otherwise, relationships that aren't right always end badly in the long term so if you do have the courage to get out now i would but if you feel this relationship is a good thing you just need more support with how you feel i would take things very slow, continue to be honest with your bf about how you feel and hopefully if you do go into therapy or something along those lines he will be supportive. Its good you've opened up to him this far and the fact of the matter is, he is with you because he wants to be with you - if there was someone 'better' out there for him, he would already be with them. I hope ive been helpful. All the best.

[kris0220]

I am so lost and broken. I have tried therapy. It went well for a bit and then my therapist kept canceling. I would love to find a support group or something. I think I need a new therapist but can not find one I can afford right now. I am stuck... there is so much to the situtation with my bf. We live together and I can not afford the house on my own. I may look for something else when the lease is up but we have a while. I have three children also. They are my main focus right now, especially my boys. My life is hectic and very busy...I don't see why anyone would want to be a part of it. I could just scream when I think about this situation...... I am also dealing with health problems or obsticles at this time. That is a ride in itself. I hope everyone has a great day!!! Thank you for your input.

[Leed]

Kris, you definitely need to KEEP looking for another therapist. There must be one who won't keep canceling on you, which I think is very unethical by the way! But don't give up looking for one. You really need to talk to someone.

I agree that you are in a difficult situation. Personally I think you'd be better off alone, i.e. not in a relationship right now. I think you need time to heal, and see how you really feel. Right now you feel so broken, I'm not sure you really know HOW you feel, even about your bf. And having three kids doesn't help things either! You have your hands full.

So keep looking for that therapist, and make sure you really "click" -- that you get along and can relate. You have to be able to talk to him/her in order for things to work. God bless and please keep me posted will you? I'd really like to know what happens! Take care hon. Hugs, Lee