child care

I would like some help understanding and processing in my own mind an experience I had today. Please be honest with me and tell me if my thinking is skewed.

I saw an ad in the paper, Nanny wanted. Some of you know that I have been absolutely not ready to go back into my former profession due to the stress and that I am a bit of a nut about kids so add it up. I called and got a call back from a nice young woman who explained to me she had Irish twins, almost exactly 18 months apart and that they spent 12 hours daily in childcare. The got dinner and bath at the sitter and had time for story and bed at night. I thought oh wow, they are missing out on so much,.(mom and dad) and to be honest I had ideas about being with these very wonderful little guys and playing outside, long walks, lots of sand, mud, stories and creative play. I went to meet the family today, nice young couple in a big house where they have lived for three years. Dad has done and is doing all of the re-modeling and the children want for nothing material. The basement is a gym, bar and game room, and a media room. The media room is something i can never describe, incredible for one. 8 foot screen and dvds all 300 or whatever in this thing and you decide what movie you want to watch. Way fantastic.

So here it is. I loved the kids immediately. It is clear that this is an incredibly hard working couple and they work for what they want. I am on the other hand not interested in the material things and enjoyed reading some stories to the kids before nap. It is clear they have, in my opinion, the wrong sets of boundaries where behavior is concerned. They are young kids and one must lead by example. I will not judge this family. In fact, the media room was a comfy 65 degrees. Today was a warm day and I thought how I personally wouldn't mind watching a bunch of movies down there.

They have not paid much for child care, and are trying to figure out how to re-budget and pay a nanny and the additional groceries etc. On the phone it made sense but when I got there it didn't. Basically if I did this I would not be well paid. I would however have fun I believe and make a big difference in the lives of two beautiful children. The kids had no noticable outdoor toys for kids. Dad said that kids don't need to get dirty to have fun. (I really disagree but hey). I would of course do my own thing with the kids, a lot of outdoors and swimming and creating. I let kids that age experiment with all forms of tactile play and encourage exploring.

Should I do this because I want to for kids? Should I allow them to pay poorly when it is clear they have some other priorities where their money is invested? They are very nice people. I felt at home with them and just played with the little ones. Am I even as I write this being judgemental? Would my doing this make a positive difference in their lives?

One of the things that would need to be discussed is the fact that if I get foster children, they come with me. No questions asked. I mentioned it on the phone but we did not discuss further. I probably would never use the big media room unless it was a rainy day and I got some videos from the library that are more engaging, apprpriate and entertaining for the younger crowd. We used to love MILO AND OTIS. I would be playing and exploring.

So, what do you think? Is my head in the wrong place here?

Hmmm...that's a hard one. It's hard to not be selfish and want to be with these children and provide them the things that children need more in life. But personally if the pay will not convenience you then it is a very difficult decision.

I mean you have to sit down and calculate all the money it would involve for you to invest. Like gas back and forth, time, energy, all that. Then do the math and see if you make any sort of investment. If you don't then it's your decision whether you would like to reach out your hand for this family, because it wouldn't be for you.

It's hard to mention to a set of parents what they can do to approve their children's lives. Like some fun time outside, and the exercise that comes along with that. It does sound as if they are trying to do what they feel is right, but money has blinded them to what's more important, sadly.

Maybe you should attempt to get to know them, then suggest a few little ideas and see what they would say.

I really hope this works out for you, and good luck. Let us know how it went.

Thanks Des, the voice of rationality. Hmm, with gas prices as they are, it's a big consideration.

Hmm - If I may ask? - What are going to be paid (per child) on a weekly basis for watching and caring for 2 kids?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

They had told me that they were only paying the family day care where the kids watch t.v, learn to swear and yell by watching the 14 year old, $200. per week for 12 hour days and food. They were going to try to figure out what they could pay me. I am getting a lot more then that in unemployment. Also, by the way, the program my spouse works in is $200.00 per child per week per 8 hour day.

Hmm - Would you be having the kids for 12 hours a day as well.... the going rate here in my town is $75 to $100 per child per week from 6 am to 6pm (some 7 pm).... so to me the $200 a week sounds reasonable, per my towns charge.

Not for sure if any of the INFO helped you or not.... but its all I got to offer.... I am watching my 10 month old great niece for my niece for the summer at $50 a week (family discount).

LoVe,
Rhapsody -