another lonely college friday...

Here I am, friday night. No plans. Nothing to do. I'm so lonely. My social anxiety prevents me from talking to girls I like. I've grown apart from my friends, because I started to get tired of them.
One group of friends, I can't stand how they talk about women, it sickens me.
The other group, it seems all they want to do is get drunk.
So now I'm all alone. I spend my friday nights watching videos on youtube and masturbating. I'm so tired of this. I want so badly someone to cuddle with, but I just can't get the hang of talking to girls and asking them out. I just feel so out of place doing it. I guess it's a confidence thing. This is my third year in college, and I feel I am just failing at life. 20 years old, a virgin, and have never had a girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I can talk to girls fine, it's just the whole thing where you like a girl, and she actually likes you back? Yeah. Never happened to me. And if it did, I would probably get scared and never act on it. I should be having the time of my life, and here I am, bored out of my mind, depressed, and lonely. What should I be doing? Going to parties? I have, and I NEVER enjoy them. I just pretend to enjoy them. I'll get drunk and try to talk to girls, and it never works. I just stand in the corner watching guys talk to the girls I wanted to approach all night, frustrated, wondering why it works for them and not me. I always wind up walking home alone.
I told myself at the beginning of the year to just forget being social and focus on grades only so I can get into a good graduate school, but the thought of just staying in my room all year, studying, is just depressing. I can't do it! I am feeling far too depressed right now to open the books. Hell, I don't even know if I want to go to graduate school anymore.
I just want someone to snuggle with during this approaching cold weather...

Why can't you hang out with your friends, but not go to the parties? You can still socialize during the school day and catch lunch/dinner with people.

I have plenty of friends who are your age or older who have never had a boyfriend. I think I told you this before, but you're not alone.

With girls, you should try to become friends with them and see where it goes from there. Have lunch with them and keep it casual. If you can get past lunch, you can have dinner with them and go on from there.

Have you thought about joining on campus clubs? Clubs are a good way to meet people who have similar goals/interests to you.

There are plenty of other things you can do on campus, special interest groups, rallying etc Surely your friends don't party all the time? I would meet up with them for coffee or go to the movies or something. I would try and do the same with girls too - most girls prefer getting to know someone before they take things further. I think if you pressure yourself too much to be happy you'll end up feeling the exact opposite. Sometimes just taking it back to basics like dividing the day into sections and performing useful tasks to timetable make the day feel shorter. It would be nice though if you could socialise more often - most people only get one chance at college so i would make the most of getting to meet new people. Theres sure to be people who share your tastes and opinions is just putting that effort in to find them. Good luck.

I have to agree about getting involved with other stuff on campus. You can talk casually with girls there. You have to become friends with girls before you can "date" them -- no relationship is any good unless you're friends first. Who wants to meet a girl and then just jump into the sack with them? That's cheap and nasty. You wouldn't respect that girl would you? Or is that all you want -- a piece of $$%$.

If you want to cuddle with a girl, you'd better become friends with her first, and you can do that by getting involved in stuff on campus --- not by sitting home watching videos. lol So get out there, and do something about it, my friend. it won't be long before you'll be cuddling half the night. God bless and please take care. Hugs, lee