[NishQuiche92]

I recently lost my job, my unemployment, and my financial aid for school. Im totally broke, no income what-so-ever. I was also diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety (which recently got worse due to job loss), on top of epilepsy and a learning disability. My mom, however, seems to not understand this. My whole life she has always forced things on me, which has lead to lots of feelings of resentment. When I was grown(about 16), she forced religion on me...she did this by saying she would take me out of my school with all my friends and put me in another one where I didn't know anyone. She also said she would take away my car, phone and internet if I didn't go to church and be a good Christian as she was. She also forced me into jobs I wasn't comfortable with. Needless to say she has always been a pusher. Recently my mom threatened to cut off my phone contract and my car insurance to prove a point.....her point being that she wanted me to take on work that was once again outside my comfort zone, and my doctor told me not to do. I pay for these things, but I get them at a discounted rate because of a family plan. So by being cut off, I would wind up having to purchase them at at LEAST twice as much...and I obviously can't afford that...I would lose my car and phone...both of which I need for work....Why is my mom doing this? I know she feels the need to prove a point...but its harmful, and hurtful and it seriously makes me angry and sad that she does this.

i do understand.... my mother's the same, my whole life my mon's rejected me and shut me out- so i totally don't care for her.

hugs

[NishQuiche92]

thanks -hugs-

[Leed]

What "point" is she trying to make? That she's "all powerful?" I don't see what she's trying to get across. You've been working. Obviously you're responsible because you pay your car insurance on time, and are capable of driving a car!

My parents also forced religion on me, and it totally screwed me up. When I was 17 I told them I would NO LONGER go to that church and would NO longer follow that religion.

Is your mother unreasonable? Can you not sit her down and talk to her and TELL her that even your doctor told you not to take that job? Does she think she knows more than the doctor?

Since your mother doesn't seem to understand your diagnoses, is there some way that your doctor could TALK to your mother and explain these to her so that she'd understand? What if you had him CALL her, and talk to her about them? Do you think that would help? She seems to be totally "uneducated" about these mental illnesses and how serious they are. Talk to your doctor and ask him to call her and explain these to her. I don't see how she could deny how serious they are after talking with them. Maybe she'd understand after that. What do you think?

Gosh, I wish something would help. I wish you the very best, my friend. God bless and please keep us informed, ok? Take care. Hugs, Lee

[NishQuiche92]

Thank you Lee, my mother has just always been this way...many of my family members wonder if she has her own mental disorders...but she refuses to see a doctor over it...she is forceful and moody and always plays the victim...often I wonder why my family puts up with it....she treats people like crap, but when someone finally stands up to her, she acts the victim and makes everyone else feel extremely guilty....its always been that way...-sigh- it's a rough situation...sadly, I would rather leave my doctor out of it...my mom can be a rather stubborn loud woman, and my doctor, also a woman, can be the quiet shy type....a bad combo....no, I will continue to try and reason with her, but sadly if it continues on like this I may just need to cut her from my life for a little while until I am well enough to stand on my own.

[Leed]

Oh gosh, "Nish" -- I wish there was SOME way to get thru to her. Your life at home as a youngster must have been VERY difficult, and I'm really sorry about that. It's no wonder you have some issues, and I'm surprised that you only have the issues that you have!! You've done extremely well, in my opinion! If I'd been in your place, I'm sure I would have had to have been "put away." No way could I have dealt with that all the years growing up, so I applaud your efforts at staying sane!

Perhaps "cutting her out" of your life would be the best decision right now. At least you'd be able to breathe and test your wings and take flight for awhile! And during this time, perhaps some of the resentments will fade away. One thing I realized about the resentments I had towards my parents (and they were nasty) was they gave ME what THEY were given. Their parents brought THEM up the same way that they brought YOU up. So the cycle continued. I forgave my parents because they didn't know anything else. They brought me up the only way they knew how. I broke that cycle with my kids. NO WAY was I going to bring up my kids the same way.

So maybe you can give your Mom a break? Just think about it anyway. God bless and please take care. And keep us posted on how you're doing, okay? We DO care. Hugs, Lee

[NishQuiche92]

Hi Lee, I am sorry you had to go through that. My aunts and uncles aren't like my mom though, and my grandparents aren't like that either. In fact, I think it was BECAUSE of my grandparents that I was able to stay sane despite the actions of my mother, because they were always there to look out for me, and offer me support. As for the rest, I really thank you for taking the time to give input!
Hugs for you all!

((((Nish)))) another member pointed me in this direction, and I want to pay it forward. Perhaps it will resonate with you, as well You are not alone.

http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/