[spmtb]

Mother kicked me out at 19. Dad was really never there, but he was the only one that showed me some kind of affection. Now I've been trying to heal, and see, what was always there. Dad was everything to me, there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him, even take care of his wife, while he lived his life with another woman. Of coarse at that time I didn't want to accept my Dad was a cheater. While I took care of mother after her 1st stroke, cuz Dad ask me for help. She not only treated me like crap but also my daughter. I asked dad back then, not to ask me to take of her again, almost 10yrs later he did, and I did, but this time I had a 1yr old. I was falling apart. I put mother in a nursing home, my priorities are my girls. Come to find out dad knew how she mistreated, yet he asked for a 2nd time to watch her, so he can live his life. Then to see him have a relationship with his mistress's grandkids. He never had time to come to my kids birthday party, but took hers to Disneyland. Then he tells me how he encouraged her son to finish high school, because a diploma is important. I graduated high school in 1987, I didn't tell him til 2012. He was never around for me, why is he there for them? I wonder when he says, my kids, am I included?

No, I dont think your a drama queen. I think you've legit reasons to feel upset, really good reasons.

Am sorry that you've had a tough time with your mum all your life, and that your dad's let you down at times. I guess you've felt alone at times, and when your pop treats others better than you, must make you feel alone again. Have you tried asking him why he wasnt there for you? Perhaps letting him know how his actions have made you feel may change his ways, and make him become more thoughtful. If not tho, sometimes with parents you may never hear what you want to hear (its true of my parents who I do not see) and you may just have to either accept your dad and his ways, or keep away for a bit while your hurting.

Big hugs x

I think it's horrible. The whole story. I have a relatively similar situation without the cheating. That, for me is unforgiveable since he made you take care of your mother so he could be an adulterer. That is just.... ugh. Why didn't he just friggin divorce her if he didn't want to care for her or be faithful? Shoot, he's just a lame, immature jerk in a man's body if you ask me. My mother and father have not seen me in over 15 years. They send gifts to my boys at Christmas and birthdays on and off, but that's all my boys know of them. They put a lot of time and effort in their other grand kids though... What did I do? I moved 3,000 miles away and am better for it. NOT suggesting that for you, just give you my story so you know I understand.

You're not a drama queen at all. Your feelings are justified.

*hugs*

[spmtb]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I think it's horrible. The whole story. I have a relatively similar situation without the cheating. That, for me is unforgiveable since he made you take care of your mother so he could be an adulterer. That is just.... ugh. Why didn't he just friggin divorce her if he didn't want to care for her or be faithful? Shoot, he's just a lame, immature jerk in a man's body if you ask me. My mother and father have not seen me in over 15 years. They send gifts to my boys at Christmas and birthdays on and off, but that's all my boys know of them. They put a lot of time and effort in their other grand kids though... What did I do? I moved 3,000 miles away and am better for it. NOT suggesting that for you, just give you my story so you know I understand.

You're not a drama queen at all. Your feelings are justified.

*hugs*

My father, was the only one that ever showed me any kind of affection. So I did what he asked. I knew he had another life, I just didn't want to accept it. If there is a man in this world I can believe in, it's my dad. I used to tell myself that all the time. I haven't seen mother going on 3 years, and she is in a nursing home less than a mile away. Currently I'm living in my fathers house due to bad relationships, but I live here alone with my girls. I told my father that all these years, I was the one to look for him, he said he was going to change after his heart attack, but as soon as he was able to walk, and I taught his FRIEND to drive, he went back to normal. We haven't had our sunday ritual that we had after his attack, since fathers day. I haven't called him, he hasn't either.

Originally Posted by spmtb

My father, was the only one that ever showed me any kind of affection. So I did what he asked. I knew he had another life, I just didn't want to accept it. If there is a man in this world I can believe in, it's my dad. I used to tell myself that all the time. I haven't seen mother going on 3 years, and she is in a nursing home less than a mile away. Currently I'm living in my fathers house due to bad relationships, but I live here alone with my girls. I told my father that all these years, I was the one to look for him, he said he was going to change after his heart attack, but as soon as he was able to walk, and I taught his FRIEND to drive, he went back to normal. We haven't had our sunday ritual that we had after his attack, since fathers day. I haven't called him, he hasn't either.

I'm so sorry. that stinks that he returned to his old ways again. I know what you mean about believing in him and I am the same with my mother even though she has all but disowned me of late. Still.. she's my mom. My dad I dont' feel taht way so much.... well not at all really, kind of like you are about your mom I think..