[conklinca]

During chatting, I realized I have a lot of unhealthy feelings toward my marriage. I married my husband even after things weren't going so well; I didn't want to break his heart by breaking the engagement. There was another guy who, at the time, I felt might make a better husband, but I wasn't sure whether I could have children or not and knew he wanted them badly, and I didn't want to break his heart, either. To keep from having to deal with the conflict, I kept to my initial agreement and convinced myself it was the moral thing to do. I now have a beautiful baby girl. My husband loves me a lot, but he's far from perfect. Obviously, I'm not the greatest myself. Anyway, how do I learn to be content with my husband and stop regretting that I'll never have the other life? And how do I not treat my husband like he's only second best? Because it's not fair that I punish him for my mistakes...or our daughter, who deserves a good family

[Audrey]

Maybe it would help if you made a private list of all the things that you like about your husband. I know for experience that once you start thinking about the negative, then it's easy to turn almost anything into something negative. So it might help you to think about the good in your life.

[ltlredvett]

I think what you are experiencing is common to many people in committed relationships. You should have only one chance to make the right decisions and chose a partner with whom you will have children and make a life together. In many cases people disocover they made the wrong choice. I know I did, I simply married too young to really know what it was that I wanted. However, in other cases I think that these feelings of "the grass is greener" lead to misery. You simply have to change your focus. Focus on the good things in your mate. Help him to bring out his good qualities. Place a lower priority and emphasis on the bad qualities. If you don't change your perception you may lose him and you may not like the end result.