[delicatedoll]

So, I'm with a man who has a child with a previous girlfriend (who he refers to as an ex-wife although they were only engaged.. is that weird or is it just me?)

I have this habit of over-analyzing literally everything. I will look at pictures with him and her together and he looks so close to her, he'd always pull her close. But in pictures with him and I he never seems to do that. Does that mean anything or am I reading too far into it? We've only been dating about 5 months by the way.

The jealousy occurs almost every day and I feel like I'm going crazy with it. It seems like everytime I get over a certain incident, another thing from the past will just randomly pop into my head and I'll start analyzing that all over again. No incidents where he's done anything wrong, just where I've felt he's given someone more attention or been into someone..

Has anyone gone through intense jealousy and know how to resolve it?

Sorry this post is kind of brief and all over the place, I can elaborate if anyone wants to know more..

[hamster-bamster]

I have been through irrational, baseless, intense jealousy and Geodon (an antipsychotic) resolved it fully and immediately. Baseless jealousy is basically a delusion (being out of touch with reality) which is why antipsychotics work. I cannot recommend it enough. It delivered me out of my suffering in one day and I never went back to the horror. I assume that you are on this site for a reason so you, too, might have this mental illness problem.

[hamster-bamster]

And, I feel that it is the best solution because Geodon attacks the ROOT of the problem. All other methods would require work on your part and not be 100% effective. This method requires no work and delivers results.

[delicatedoll]

I am definitely going to talk to my doctor about that. I've never even heard of it before. Thank you

[NinaNina]

Hi there.

I have felt the way you are feeling many times before with my current boyfriend. I find myself looking at pictures of him and his ex, any over analyzing everything- like how happy he looks with her etc etc.

I have also compared myself to other people he has been with, thinking that maybe I need to be more like them...

When I was like this, I was having problems with anxiety. I do not have mental issues, it was just a matter of being insecure, which I still am at times, although my jelousy issues have gotten better, for the most part

Everyone has a past, but it is just that-the past. Don't torture yourself by constantly looking at pictures of your bf and his ex, and don't analyze them or think about his past if you can help it.

You have to remember that he is with YOU now, and his relationship with her is in his past. I wish you all the best, and take care Feel free to private message me anytime you need to talk.

[delicatedoll]

Thank you NinaNina It is definitely at the point where I know I shouldn't do it but I can't resist the urge sometimes.. and that is definitely very true that he is with me now. I don't know why I try to convince myself he doesn't want me. When I actually sit and think rationally there are so many things that point to him actually wanting me that I don't know why I let myself get so crazy some days.

[NinaNina]

Originally Posted by delicatedoll

Thank you NinaNina It is definitely at the point where I know I shouldn't do it but I can't resist the urge sometimes.. and that is definitely very true that he is with me now. I don't know why I try to convince myself he doesn't want me. When I actually sit and think rationally there are so many things that point to him actually wanting me that I don't know why I let myself get so crazy some days.

Anytime, and I know exactly how you feel- I'm the same way. I used to be worse, but I still give in from time to time and look at old pictures of him, or think about his exes in a way that drives me crazy. I also think too often about how I feel like he doesnt want me, even though he really doesnt give off signs like that.

It can be so hard so I know how you feel! Just do your best to focus on the positive, and most importantly your present and future with him, instead of his past.

[Stranger516]

Oh boy...

Well one thing I can tell you is that jealousy is one of the hardest emotions to overcome.

You need to realize this man has a child with this woman. She will always be in his life one way or another. You can chose to accept that now or later, and trust me now is a lot harder than later....

If I had to take a guess I would really assume that you are reading way too deeply into the whole "he looks closer to her in pictures than he does with me" thing. That assumption you have is most likely due to your jealousy towards this person. If you did not feel jealous I am positive that is not even something you would have noticed in the photo. You probably "look" for little things here and there than can set you off, after all that is one of the many things that comes with being jealous.

After you really accept, and I mean REALLY accept the fact that he is with YOU now. He is NOT with her, he is with YOU. This is for a reason. They didn't stay together for a reason. There is no reason for you to feel threatened by past photos of them together. You also have to realize that he refers to her as his ex-wife because of the fact that they were engaged! It is a lot easier than to say "my ex-fiance..." Ex-wife sounds more reasonable for the mother of his child especially since they were engaged at one point.

She is not a threat to you. He is not with her anymore. He did not love her more than he loves you otherwise he'd still be with her. The only thing he may feel passionately about is the fact that she mothered his child.

Try not to over think things too much.

[Ladyzero]

LOL. Why is ' ex wife ' easier to say than ' ex fianceé '

[eskielover]

It's much harder the way society has changed so that people have so many intimate relationships in their life rather than mostly the one that everyone use to aim for in their lives......this insecurity & feeling of jealousy is the price we pay for the way our relationships have evolved over the years. We either accept that the people we are with have had many relationships......or we look to find those who have not believed in living that way (& there are still people who do not choose a many relationship life)

Add to that, being insecure about self doesn't help those feelings either......when you don't feel equal to those previous relationships, then obviously, there's some level of insecurity that one is dealing with.

Hope you are able to sort thru your emotions.

[dalton1926]

Going through some of the same issues. Been married 7 years I have never fully trusted my husband. This is my second marriage. I love my husband my jealousy drove me into acting in ways that eventually put a wedge between us. While we are still together my life is worse now. He goes places without me, doesn't seem to enjoy my company even at homemade I no longer feel loved and wanted. I know I messed up. If he is with you then he is with you. Enjoy that so you wont lose everything.

I am dealing with the same thing right now. It's seems like obvious advice, but don't look at those pictures. I kept looking at pictures and emails, and have driven myself insane. Can't he get rid of those pictures? I don't have pictures of my old boyfriend, and if I do, they are buried in a box somewhere. And if there are kids in the pictures, can't he put up another picture without her in it? Sounds a bit insensitive to me if these pics are just laying around, or even posted online or something.